• - Jiving In The Jungle : : Humour

    Zulu was a zebra who loved zapping on his zither
    Roger the rhinoceros rattled his rattler with raucous rigour
    Leo a leonine lion loved to languorously play his lute
    And Flavia the flaming flamingo fluttered flirtatiously on her flute... more »

  • - Cama Cama Cama Cama Cama Not A Lion:: Humour

    My father is a camel and my mother is a llama
    And that is how I was born a hybrid called a cama
    Created through the procedure of artificial insemination
    Not via a camel/llama eyelash fluttering flirtation... more »

  • - In The Garden: : Humour

    The air was alpine fresh and the lake surface glistening
    Bird song trilled for those who were listening
    What a great afternoon, thought Glenn feeling chipper
    A perfect moment to start up his new whipper snipper... more »

  • - Item Six, A Bag Of Nothing: : Humour

    Next is item six, a bag of nothing, who'll give me an opening price
    A bag of nothing sitting on your shelf would look rather nice
    Come on give me a bid, oh is that five dollars I hear
    But surely I can get more for this perfectly formed sphere... more »

  • - Lemon Pepper Sauce: : Humour

    Lemon pepper sauce has a lemony peppery zing
    It's a lemony peppery, peppery lemony saucy kind of thing
    Made with lemon zest and peppercorns and garlic that's been pressed
    Splash it on your salad so it's tantalisingly, tastefully dressed... more »

  • - A Storm In A Teacup: : Humour

    Jeny owns a little brown dog, as cute as cute can be
    But don't be in the vicinity when he begins to pee
    He'd put grown men to shame, a fire hose looks small-fry
    When he cocks his tiny leg, and lets his waters fly... more »

  • - Am I A Spoodle: : Humour

    Am I a cockapoo or one of those spoodles
    Either way, I've got oodles and oodles
    Of energy, I bounce off the walls
    Literally, I don't care if I fall... more »

  • - Blind Fear: : Humour, Inspiration

    Is blind fear blind?
    Yes, it is
    Is blind fear fear?
    Yes, it is... more »

  • - Brassed Off: : Humour

    Sally bought a toothbrush holder made from gleaming brass
    Solid, smooth and golden, it was really class
    But she was loathe to spend long dreary hours
    Buffing and shining it, after hefty scours... more »

  • - Bronwyn's Birthday: : Humour

    It's Bronwyn's birthday today, her age has upped a notch
    That's OK as long as on her wrinkles you don't keep watch
    The spider veins, liver spots, grey hairs poking through
    Are signs that on this earth, Bronwyn is not so new... more »

  • - Buying Lunch: : Humour

    'I might go out for some lunch, ' was the thought in Bill's head
    I'll ask if anyone wants a meat pattie on bread
    Lucy in accounts asked if he'd kindly buy
    A cheeseburger, large coke and small packet of fries... more »

  • - Changing The Daily Backup Tapes: : Humour

    Flash your pass at the sensor and it responds
    With a blue light and two beeps, one short, one long
    Drag open the door and step into a cold chamber
    This is the world of the backup ranger... more »

  • - Dining In Style: : Humour

    We rented a DVD and ordered Thai for our date
    From the kitchen he procured two paper plates,
    Two plastic spoons and two plastic cups
    In style was my date going to serve this meal up... more »

  • - Disobedient Disobedience (Parody Of Disobedience By A A Milne) : : Humour

    Charles Charles
    Harrison Harrison
    Darrowby Borg Capri
    Looked great... more »

  • - Dust: : Humour

    The ship in a bottle brought back from Bristol
    The vase filled with flowers made of finest crystal
    Wedding photographs of children proudly displayed
    Souvenirs of wood and iron, some made of green jade... more »

  • - Even If: : Humour

    Even if your life is hard
    Even if your face is scarred
    Even if the road is rough
    Even if your meat is tough... more »

  • - First Job: : Humour

    I’ll drive you to the shopping centre, Sandy’s grandma offered
    Sandy gladly accepted the proposition her gran proffered
    “I’ll just wait in the car”, said gran, “while you go in and inquire
    About a job in those shops, surely someone will hire”... more »

  • - Gallbladder Removal: : Humour

    The doctor advised Leigh’s gallbladder must be removed
    A few simple snips and his health would be improved
    She told him to sign up for a Cholecystectomy, Laparoscopic
    Four incisions are sliced for surgery microscopic... more »

  • - Greg's Culinary Disas......Triumph! :: Humour

    I needed a funny story and I needed it quite fast
    Of a tale plucked from the murky depths of Greg's wild past
    I asked his wife, Bronwyn, to give me one or two
    But she came up with nothing, what was I to do... more »

  • - Gtky : : Humour

    Hi, how are you? What’s your name?
    We’re playing a GTKY kind of game
    What on earth does GTKY stand for?
    Getting To Know You, can you please tell us more... more »

  • - Hold That Thought: : Humour, Inspiration

    Hold that thought, no not that one
    That one will get you undone
    The one before which flitted past so fleeting
    That's the one to which you should be heeding... more »

  • - How To Make A Mountain Out Of A Molehill: : Humour, Inspiration

    First you must pick your molehill, now here's a tip
    The smaller the better, tinier than the tiniest microchip
    From this speck you can conjure mountainous masses
    Of soaring peaks dropping into bottomless crevasses... more »

  • - I Didn'T Write This Poem:: Humour

    I didn't write this poem, I did not choose these words
    I'd never give my name to something so absolutely absurd
    The idea of this poem is anathema to my senses
    It should be locked away behind some very high fences... more »

  • - I Wish I Could: : Humour, Inspiration

    I wish I could, but I can't
    I wish I would, but I won't
    I can't do it, I don't believe
    That is something I could never achieve... more »

  • - In The Middle Of Nowhere: : Humour

    I live in the middle of nowhere, where nowhere's all around
    And in the middle of nowhere, there are many nowhere sounds
    Colourful birds in the middle of nowhere screech and squawk and trill
    A choir of frogs sing in chorus in the centre of nowheresville... more »