Bill Cosby Quotes

Any man today who returns from work, sinks into a chair, and calls for his pipe is a man with an appetite for danger.
Bill Cosby (20th century), U.S. comedian. Fatherhood, ch. 5 (1986).
No matter how calmly you try to referee, parenting will eventually produce bizarre behavior, and I'm not talking about the kids. Their behavior is always normal.
Bill Cosby (b. 1937), U.S. comedian, actor. Fatherhood, ch. 4 (1986).
No matter how calmly you try to referee, parenting will eventually produce bizarre behavior, and I'm not talking about the kids.
Bill Cosby (20th century), U.S. comedian, actor. Fatherhood, ch. 4 (1986).
I guess the real reason that my wife and I had children is the same reason that Napoleon had for invading Russia: it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Bill Cosby (20th century), U.S. comedian. Fatherhood, ch. 3 (1986).
When the child is twelve, your wife buys her a splendidly silly article of clothing called a training bra. To train what? I never had a training jock. And believe me, when I played football, I could have used a training jock more than any twelve-year-old needs a training bra.
Bill Cosby (20th century), U.S. comedian. Fatherhood, ch. 6 (1986).
It doesn't make any difference how much money a father earns, his name is always Dad-Can-I.... Like all other children, my five have one great talent: they are gifted beggars. Not one of them ever ran into the room, looked up at me, and said, "I'm really happy that you're my father, and as a tangible token of my appreciation, here's a dollar."
Bill Cosby (20th century), U.S. comedian. Fatherhood, ch. 3 (1986).
Raising children is an incredibly hard and risky business in which no cumulative wisdom is gained: each generation repeats the mistakes the previous one made.
Bill Cosby (20th century), U.S. comedian. Fatherhood, ch. 1 (1986).
A new father quickly learns that his child invariably comes to the bathroom at precisely the times when he's in there, as if he needed company. The only way for this father to be certain of bathroom privacy is to shave at the gas station.
Bill Cosby (20th century), U.S. comedian. Fatherhood, ch. 3 (1986).
In spite of the six thousand manuals on child raising in the bookstores, child raising is still a dark continent and no one really knows anything. You just need a lot of love and luck—and, of course, courage.
Bill Cosby (20th century), U.S. comedian. Fatherhood, ch. 1 (1986).
The mother may be doing ninety percent of the disciplining, but the father still must have a full-time acceptance of all the children. He never must say, "Get these kids out of here; I'm trying to watch TV." If he ever does start saying this, he is liable to see one of his kids on the six o'clock news.
Bill Cosby (20th century), U.S. comedian. Fatherhood, ch. 14 (1986).