Dorothy Parker Quotes

That woman speaks eighteen languages and can't say No in any of them.
Dorothy Parker (1893-1967), U.S. humorous writer. Quoted in While Rome Burns, "Our Mrs. Parker," Alexander Woollcott (1934). Referring to a departing guest.
It serves me right for putting all my eggs in one bastard.
Dorothy Parker (1893-1967), U.S. humorous writer. quoted in You Might As Well Live, pt. 2, ch.3, John Keats (1970). On her abortion.
Wit has truth in it ... wisecracking is simply calisthenics with words.
Dorothy Parker (1893-1967), U.S. author and humorist. As quoted in The Late Mrs. Dorothy Parker, ch. 9, by Leslie Frewin (1986). Parker was reputed to be the wittiest woman of her time.
The affair between Margot Asquith and Margot Asquith will live as one of the prettiest love stories in all literature.
Dorothy Parker (1893-1967), U.S. author and humorist. As quoted in The Late Mrs. Dorothy Parker, ch. 28, by Leslie Frewin (1986). In a review, probably written in the early 1920s, of the autobiography of Margot Asquith (1864-1945).
The two most beautiful words in the English language are "check enclosed."
Dorothy Parker (1893-1967), U.S. author and humorist. As quoted in The Late Mrs. Dorothy Parker, ch. 17, by Leslie Frewin (1986). Said in the 1920s; Parker, trying to earn her living as a writer, was referring to the financial insecurity of the profession.
Money is only congealed snow.
Dorothy Parker (1893-1967), U.S. author and humorist. As quoted in The Late Mrs. Dorothy Parker, ch. 25, by Leslie Frewin (1986). A popular writer who had earned considerable sums of money, Parker spent carelessly and always seemed to be in need.
Maybe it is only I, but conditions are such these days, that if you use studiously correct grammar, people suspect you of homosexual tendencies.
Dorothy Parker (1893-1967), U.S. author and humorist. As quoted in The Late Mrs. Dorothy Parker, ch. 11, by Leslie Frewin (1986). Parker was a grammatically fastidious writer of fiction, poetry, essays, and reviews. She said this ca. 1925.
I was the toast of two continents: Greenland and Australia.
Dorothy Parker (1893-1967), U.S. author and humorist. As quoted in You Might as Well Live, part 1, ch. 6, by John Keats (1970). Parker was recalling her 1920s reputation as a rather silly "smartcracker."
Scratch a lover, and find a foe.
Dorothy Parker (1893-1967), U.S. humorous writer. Ballade of a Great Weariness, Enough Rope (1926).
... if this world were anything near what it should be there would be no more need of a Book Week than there would be a of a Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children.
Dorothy Parker (1893-1967), U.S. author and humorist. Constant Reader, column dated February 11, 1928 (1970).