No Money! (A Funny Story)
One afternoon, a wealthy lawyer was riding in the back of his limousine when he saw Santa and Banta eating grass by the road side. He ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate.
'Why are you eating grass? ' he asked Santa.
'We don`t have any money for food, ' Santa replied.
'Oh, come along with me then, ' instructed the lawyer.... more »
Old Ghost! (A Funny Story)
Santa and Banta left the bar after a long night of drinking, jumped in the car and started it up. After a couple of minutes, an old man appeared in the passenger window and tapped lightly. Banta screamed, 'Look at the window. There`s an old ghost`s face here! '
Santa sped up, but the old man`s face stayed in the window. Banta rolled his window down part way and, scared out of his wits, said, 'What do you want? '
The old man softly replied, 'You got any tobacco? '
Banta handed the old man a cigarette and yelled, 'Step on it, ' to Santa, rolling up the window in terror.... more »
Flying Banta! (A Funny Story)
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Gastric Problem(A Funny Story)
Banta was delighted to finally be asked home to meet the parents of the young woman he`d been seeing for some time.
He was quite nervous about the meeting, though, and by the time he arrived punctually at the doorstep he was in a state of gastric distress.
The problem developed into one of acute flatulence, and halfway through the coffee, Banta realised he couldn`t hold it in one second longer without exploding. A tiny fart escaped.
'Boxer! ' called out the young woman`s mother to the family dog, lying at Banta`s feet.... more »
Half-Sister(A Funny Story But Only For Adults)
One Sunday morning Santa`s son burst into the living room and said, 'Dad, Mom, I have some great news for you! I am getting married to the most beautiful girl in town. She lives a block away and her name is Priya.
After dinner, Santa took him aside, 'Son, I have to talk with you. Your mother and I have been married 30 years. She`s a wonderful wife but she has never offered much excitement in the bedroom, so I used to fool around with women a lot. Priya is actually your half-sister, and I`m afraid you can`t marry her.'
Son was heart-broken. After eight months he eventually started dating girls again. A year later he came home and very proudly announced, 'Sonu said yes! We are getting married in June.'
Again Santa insisted on another private conversation and broke the sad news. 'Sonu is your half-sister too, I am very sorry about this.'... more »
Happy Birthday(A Not So Funny Story, But Atleast I Completed Publishing My 50th Story)
Santa walks into a bar in Ludhiana and asks for three beers. The bartender puts them up and then watches Santa go through a peculiar ritual.
'Happy Birthday, happy birthday, happy birthday' Each time he says the word he drinks the beer. Then he pays and walks out.
One year later he enters the same bar again and orders the same thing. The bartender watches him go through the same ritual. Curious, he asks Santa why.
'Well' Santa says, 'I have a friend in Canada and a friend in Sydney. We have our birthdays on the same day. We can`t be together so we have agreed that on this day we will each go into our local pub and have a round of drinks for each other. We have been doing this for 20 years since we were 18.'... more »
Hired To Worry(A Not So Funny Story)
Fresh out of business school, the young man answered a want ad for an accountant. Now he was being interviewed by a very nervous Banta who ran a small business that he had started himself.
'I need someone with an accounting degree, ' Banta said. 'But mainly, I'm looking for someone to do my worrying for me.'
'Excuse me? ' the accountant said.
'I worry about a lot of things, ' Banta said. 'But I don't want to have to worry about money. Your job will be to take all the money worries off my back.'... more »
Id10t Error(A Funny Story)
Santa was having trouble with his computer. So he called the computer guy, over to his desk.
He clicked a couple buttons and solved the problem.
As he was walking away, Santa called after him, 'So, what was wrong? '
He replied, 'It was an 'ID ten T' error.'... more »
Kick's Law(A Funny Story)
Santa was hunting in Bhatinda recently, when he attempted to cross a fence into a field to retrieve a pigeon he had shot. A farmer came and asked Santa what he was doing on his property.
'Retrieving this pigeon that I just shot', he replied.
'That pigeon is on my side of the fence, so now its mine, ' replied the farmer. Santa asked the farmer if he recognized who he was talking to.
'No', replied the farmer, 'I don`t know, and I don`t care.'... more »
Overturned Wagon! (A Funny Story)
Pappu, Santa's son, accidentally overturned his wagon load of corn. The farmer who lived nearby heard the noise.
'Hey Pappu! ! ' the farmer yelled. 'Forget your troubles. Come in with us. Then I'll help you get the wagon up.'... more »
Phone Book! (A Funny Story)
Santa stormed up to the front desk of the library and said, 'I have a complaint! '
'Yes, Sir? ' said the librarian looking up at him.
'I borrowed a book last week and it was horrible! '
Puzzled by his complain the librarian asked 'What was wrong with it? '... more »
Lucky Santa! ! (A Funny Story)
Santa goes into his son`s room to wish him goodnight. His son is having a nightmare - Santa wakes him and asks his son if he is OK? The son replies he is scared because he dreamt that his aunt had died. Santa assures the son that Auntie is fine and sends him to bed.
The next day, Auntie dies. One week later, Santa again goes into his son`s room to wish him goodnight. His son is having another nightmare - Santa again wakes his son. The son this time says that he had dreamt that his grandmother had died. The father assures the son that she is fine and sends him to bed.
The next day, grandmother dies. One week later, Santa again goes into his son`s room to wish him goodnight. His son is having another nightmare, he again wakes his son. The son this time says that he had dreamt that his daddy had died. The father assures the son that he is OK and sends the boy to bed.
Santa goes to bed but cannot sleep because he is so terrified. The next day, Santa is scared for his life- he is sure is going to die. After dressing he drives very cautiously to work fearful of a collision. He doesn`t eat lunch because he is scared of food poisoning. He avoids everyone for he is sure he will somehow be killed. He jumps at every noise, starts at every movement and hides under his desk.... more »
Medical Prescription(A Not So Funny Story)
Santa's father comes home from his doctor and, though usually quite active with his grand-children, seems to make every effort to avoid them this day.
Santa notices his dad avoiding the kids and asks him why this is so.... more »
Mental Institution(A Funny Story)
Santa, Banta and one of their friends are patients in a mental institution and are preparing for an examination given by the head psychiatrist. If they pass the exam, they will be free to leave the hospital. However, if they fail, the institution will detain them for five years.
The doctor takes them to the top of a diving board looking over an empty swimming pool, and asks the first patient to jump.
The first patient jumps head first into the pool and breaks both arms.
Then Banta jumps and breaks both legs.... more »
Minister Makes A Confession(A Funny Story)
A famous Father from a famous church was giving a speech...
'I became all this famous because I was the only person trying to solve people's problems and hearing them patiently whatever itm was, Why for the first time I joined, the first man in the confession told me that he had theft, he had killed people, once a guard caught him red-handed but he nearly killed the guard and got out and even had bribed....'... more »
My Dearest Love(A Funny Story)
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Politicians! ! ! (A Funny Story)
A bus load of politicians were driving down a country road, when the bus ran off the road and crashed into a tree in our Santa`s field. Santa, after seeing what happened, went over to investigate.
A few days later, local cops came out looking for the missing politicians, saw the crashed bus, and asked Santa where all the politicians had gone.
Santa said, 'I buried them all... out back.'
Inspector asked, 'Were they ALL dead? '... more »
Poor Santa! (A Funny Story)
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Psychic Counselling! (A Funny Story)
Santa went to a psychiatrist. 'Doc, ' he said, 'I`ve got trouble. Every time I get into bed, I get this weird feeling that there`s somebody under it. I get under the bed, to check it out, but then I think there`s somebody on top of it. I go back and forth, all night long, on top, under, on top, under... You gotta help me, Doc, I`m going crazy! '
'Just put yourself in my hands for two years, ' said the shrink. 'Come to me three times a week, and I`ll cure your fears.'
'How much do you charge? '... more »
Quick Thinking(A Not So Funny Story)
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Real Cool(A Funny Story)
Our Santa, a Japanese and a Britisher were lost in the desert.
They were driving around in a Jeep when it broke down. Because they had nothing else, they decided to each take a piece of the Jeep as they continued their journey.
The Japanese took the radiator, the Britisher took the seat, and our Santa took the door.
After a while of walking the Britisher asked the Japanese 'I`m confused, why did you bring the radiator? '... more »
Remarriage(A Funny Story)
Middle aged Santa and Jeeto were discussing life, and preparing wills. The conversation turned to remarriage...
Jeeto: If I should die first, will you remarry?
Santa: Probably, I wouldn`t like to spend the rest of my life alone.
Jeeto: Would you bring your new wife into our home that we have shared?... more »
Santa And Banta(A Funny Story)
Santa and banta was the two opposite lawyers in a court.
Santa: Banta, you're a freak and a stupid fool
Banta: And you're a idiotic man, who cheats his wife... more »
Santa At Kbc(A Funny Story)
Please note: To know what is KBC scroll down to the last paragraph
Santa is appearing on 'Kaun Banega Crorepati (KBC) ' with Amitabh Bachchan.
Amitabh: 'Santa, you`re up to Rs Fifty lakhs, with one lifeline left: phone a friend. If you get it right, the next question is worth a crore rupees If you get it wrong, you dropp back to Rs 3,20,000. Are you ready? '... more »
Secret Fax! (A Funny Story)
Santa: 'Do you know anything about this fax-machine? '
Banta: 'A little. What`s wrong? '
Santa: 'Well, I sent a fax, and the recipient called back to say all she received was a blank page. I tried it again, and the same thing happened.'
Banta: 'How did you load the sheet? '... more »