Ismael (wish my name was Ishmael) Biography

My fellow opposites, we have made numerous mistakes, bit an apple and threw away paradise, condemned a serpent, and calculated everything to a certain time and space, We know when to be, how to be, and we try to be. With that in hide away your deepest desires, in fear you maybe will lose your paradise? What paradise though, I gave up hiding my deepest desires, Do we really have to live in this world abundant with lies.perhaps, we dont, But again I will not let death deceive me, into a false sense of security, and I cant guarantee what it promises, Because you know I need a guarantee, of course I want the safe way out, I want the only way right now that can promise something in return, and that is life, Life might be a bitch, but shes my bitch and if you slap that hoe, I will beat you with my pimp cane, though sometimes your hood might be tougher than mine, with killas and hustlers, I wont submit (Though we can say that is a really bad analogy) It doesnt matter how tough your hood/life, or well being is, It prepares you for you something, Notice how you are not alone, but at the same time you are, No one knows the dark ways of your own heart, no one your sickest fantasies, no one knows your inner most thoughts, and no one will ever know..because as much as you hate to admit it, Human nature is tainted, ahhhh, Ismael, You big hypocrite, Werent you the one telling me, NOT to use Human Nature as an excuse for my actions, Yes its true, I do hate how People use the term HUMAN Nature to explain such feelings as ambition (the desire to want more) , Because really we had paradise, but we wanted more, we wanted that apple, and is it really Human nature, or is it a word that pretty much describes all our deepest sickest desires, is Human nature to want more, is Human Nature to sin, Is Human Nature to love? All of the above are sick twisted games, Ambition threw away our paradise, Sin tainted humans, and love simply leaves one with a broken heart, and caution, It leaves one with quarrel on what to do and what not to do, though true love might be out there, is not something I have experienced or plan to experience in a while so I can only give you my perspective on it.Stop hiding, Just stop, I have mentioned before, how we use these lies as shields to protect ourselves, from people, and sometimes EVEN ourselves.I really dont know what my message is or what Im trying to get across here, but I just know I dont feel this way, I dont want feel bound to everything, I dont want to have to wear clothes, I dont want to know what my family will think if I turn out a failure, but I know if youre a decent woman you have to get married before 29 and if your man you gotta claim that child, What makes a man? I believe a man is someone who doesnt away run away from his feelings, He embraces them, a Man acts the way he does because of the well-fare of his family, a man does not let people see his weakness, but we are all weak? Even those guys that look like theyve never shed a tear in their lives have cried, I on the other hand, Have shed many tears, because of my feelings, Im a selfish little whore, who wants everything for me, Im not the only one though, Im no man, a penis doesnt entitle men to manhood, Manhood you learn through experience and growth of soul, mind, and idiocy [who says men aren't clueles..-____- ], though Ive thought, I feel bad for you all, I feel even worst for myself, Im not depressed, Im actually very happy, , though, Im not cause again that hoe I call life keeps getting raped, sometimes it pays(good money at that) but you gotta know hot to play the game, and Im I have no idea how to play, At first I thought maybe I should just do what everyone else does, But I did that, I realized I was everyone else, and I didnt like how everyone was ending up, Actually I didnt really care how everyone else was, really, I realized that you can do anything you want, people will think is a little weird at first but THE ABILITY! PEOPLE HAVE TO ADAPT! Is incredible! Hahah, They will get used to you, and play their game, Is just like a video game when something is difficult and you cant do the same thing you did before because you realize monster have gotten harder, and puzzles are more difficult, You cant repeat what once victorious, let the situation show you the tactics and strategy needed for the kill, or in this case life or adaption, If something isnt working out or not making you happy, Then try to change something, Like your partner or, is hard for people to change is hard you know, You are a certain one way all your life, and all the sudden you have to reform? Ladies is a dangerous to try and reform me, I dont love my faults and my flaws but I can live with them, cause I am in fact living with them, I hate when I write things like this, I never know how to end them I could end it with the typical..(..) [which most of the times leaves something to be desired, or leaves one thoughtful and completive] Ehh am I really ready to end it, Apparently dot dot