• 1 Tale About Plastic Surgery Freakery

    I said you should have plastic surgery
    to make you look sweet
    but I wasn't planning on drastic butchery
    and now your face is a squashed old seat... more »

  • An Out Of Syncness

    A lone daisy in a field of wilting grass
    a lovely shell in shellshock broken glass
    an errant jumping molecule in chemical gas
    a book of facts in a library of guess... more »

  • Dog Poo On The Dancefloor

    (To the song Footsteps by Womack and Womack)

    Dog poo on the dancefloor
    reminds me baby of you... more »

  • Domestic

    I would not let the domestics go anywhere near
    The secret cache of spoons I compulsively horde
    In my compulsive drawer. This is where I
    Keep items that I compulsively amass, Lord... more »

  • Fake Tan Man

    Mahogany, teak stain, gravy or oak
    This man's face is a bloody joke
    The colour of tea left too long in a pot
    His mug is 1980's California not... more »

  • Fly

    There's a fly on your back
    it moves like its on a track
    dancing to Shakatak
    jumps and gives you a heart attack... more »

  • Jack Is A Rusted Old Man

    There's a rusted old man worn down with age
    calloused and harassed a rough old sage
    piercing eyes scorched wrinkled by the sun
    hands in his pocket as if to say sod it... more »

  • Misty Moon

    the misty moon the secret star that shyfully hides behind his pa
    la lovely lune c’est magnifique tres fantastique my glowy Moon

    a floodlit sky only noticed by lovers as they think its romantic... more »

  • Praxis V Axis Pirouette

    he ballet slipper with intellectual ribbon ties
    Glittered with dullness and an infinite like
    Of pink cup cakes and telephonists phoney
    Helpfulnessnessness. Less is less after all... more »

  • Quite Silly But Accurate Pop Star Rhymes

    Billy Joel
    In a Begging Bowl
    All full of holes
    I'm not bowled... more »

  • Smoking B******** Who Poison My Tubes

    I always end up in an environment full of smoke
    Having to sit next to a hyped up chain smoke bloke
    Who won't put it out despite my nasty coughing bout
    And my old man wheeze and green face splutter pleas... more »

  • Some Doctors Are Rubbish

    The white coated sugary sickening bilge merchant sweeps his pill
    Pushing doctor ideas and made up reality from reference book
    Likes to fool the stupid people that small white things cure ill
    Only I know the cunning devices to dupe the group with medic muck... more »

  • The Grandfather With A Complaint- To Spit And Splatt Brothers, A Fictional Company

    Spit and Splatt Brothers
    249 Noway Way
    Cacksville
    England... more »

  • Thyroid

    I've got a tin of fruit in my thyroid baby
    A neurotic robotic
    I've got a tin schizo in my thyroid honey
    A despotic robotic... more »

  • Toothpick Uses

    A walking cane for the pixie men
    Or those tentative at sword fencing lesson
    First stage before moving on to a needle
    Which can be fashioned if you make a hole... more »

  • Traumatize

    Inner traumatize, the bowels of my body spurt pain
    Lost in the hopeless waste, my life a one note refrain
    I have lost the capacity to feel exalted, emotion all mined
    It's a bleak forecast, it's the agonies of humankind... more »

  • Tv Is Tripe

    There's nothing on the television
    Except people in the situations
    And nothing better than incisions
    Forceps delivery in the hospital drama... more »

  • Unloved Lost Plane

    Hardy battler, hardly bitter, despite being treated as machine
    Metal mover, heard motion, momentum growing shudder
    Rudder rover, over the blue, tantrum non throwing green
    pasture passing landscape fleeing all seeing metallic gleam... more »

  • Vendettas

    Vendettas bear a grudge and refuse to budge
    No better than a go-getter turned to a seat sitter
    They scream and dream of ways to fight the injust
    Before they turn to dust. All twisted and bitter... more »

  • Why Do Sheep Become Jumpers For People's Torsos

    Tell me why do sheep become jumpers for people's torsos?
    Always in my sleep I mull over such posing problems
    And sometimes in my wake. At my wake when I am dead
    I will still be thinking of such things in my ghost-head.... more »

  • You Are

    You scrawny piece of inebriated turd
    You infinately cack worthless old bird
    You filthy stinky sore pus carcass breath
    You awful half cremated sour fetid death... more »

  • Zoooooooooooooooooooom-Moths

    Moth moth moth moth moth; time of the month for moth moth moth moth
    Behemoth, moth, fill your path, path, path, path, path, path with moth, moth
    Zoom, zoom, zoom, zoooooom, zooooooooom, zoooooooooom, across, cross
    I get cross at the profusion of bow tie looking moth, moths, moths, mo... more »