• A Bedtime Story

    Quiet please, don't make a sound,
    let’s see how long we last,
    no more whispers, no more shouts
    let’s keep our lips sealed fast.... more »

  • Bobby The Snail

    This is the tale of Bobby the Snail
    who lived all alone in a shell
    he wasn't house proud
    passed wind rather loud... more »

  • Every Face Tells A Story

    I never put my hand up
    and I never volunteered,
    drugs or booze is not a cruise
    it's no fun being here.... more »

  • International Scouse Day

    It's International Scouse Day
    and I've just flew in from Spain... more »

  • Living On The Streets

    It is pouring rain and freezing cold,
    these city streets aren't paved with gold,
    I'm sleeping rough and growing old,
    and 'move along' I'm getting told.... more »

  • Motherly Love

    A family is just like a cart wheel,
    and the hub of the wheel is the mum,
    and when things go wrong, it’s not before long
    that it's mother to where they all run.... more »

  • Mr Rolly-Polly

    Mr Rolly-Polly was a very greedy bloke,
    always eating fish 'n'chips and drinking lots of coke.
    He couldn't pass a burger bar or a hotdog stand,
    and every night at nine o'clock he'd visit Pizzaland.... more »

  • My Grandad

    My grandad has great big ears
    and he's losing all his hair
    he always wears a cardie
    when he's in his special chair.... more »

  • Never Again

    Don't do me breakfast just yet luv,
    I'm staying up here in me bed,
    I've a mouth like a shot putter's armpit,
    and ten kids running wild in me head.... more »

  • School Bully

    Horrid Henry Atkins
    was the bully of our school
    always causing trouble
    and acting like a fool... more »

  • The Knocking Shop

    A bloody great big Knocking shop
    has opened down our street,
    A place where all the visitors
    like to go to meet.... more »

  • The Knocking Shop 2

    The Knocking shop now has a sign
    posted on the door,
    it says half price every Wednesday
    from ten o'clock till four.... more »

  • The Knocking Shop 3

    Once again it's party time
    at our pleasure dome,
    you're sure of a grand welcome
    to make you feel at home.... more »

  • The Visitor

    A friend of ours dropped in one day
    and asked my wife if he could stay
    just somewhere where he could unwind
    a place to leave his woes behind... more »

  • Tv Star.......Not Me

    I thought I had the 'X-Factor'
    but my voice just hurt my ears
    I turned to 'Ballroom Dancing'
    but that just lead to tears... more »

  • What's Up Doc?

    This hat's too small
    it's cold and dark
    full of kings and queens
    chirping birds... more »

  • Work

    It's eight o'clock and I've slept in
    I'll have to let them know,
    got no time for breakfast luv
    I really have to go... more »