• .......So To Squeak!

    Darling Grandson and fellow Aquarian! Just a little note before I go, so to squeak …….

    Life for us Aquarians can be a little tough. It shouldn’t be but, as we know, we sort of make things a little tougher for ourselves than we should just because of who we are, which makes some people (family mostly) think we are a breed apart.They consider they are the norm and we are aliens, but who’s to say that is so?... more »

  • 10 Ways To Improve Your Government (Wherever!)

    1. I’d insist on everyones’ feet being de-corned free of charge. Corns and bunions prevent people from thinking on their feet. (Oh, so that’s why …)

    2. I’d make the song “Oh Lord, it’s hard to be humble, ” the national anthem.... more »

  • A Butterfly For Kathy

    Written by my friend Judy for her friend in Boston, USA:

    You told me to watch out for a butterfly
    A white one at that –... more »

  • A Crabby Old Woman!

    What do you see, kids, what do you see?
    Are you thinking when you are looking at me...
    A crabby old woman, not very wise
    Uncertain of habit with faraway eyes.... more »

  • A Different Kind Of Wet

    I wrote this poem whilst visiting Ireland from whence my Gran had left to settle here in South Africa in the early 1900's.

    Sure I travelled far from Africa
    across the oceans wide... more »

  • A Family Tree (For Bad Poetry Day)

    We had a little family tree
    It's bark was black with age
    So many folk have sat beneath
    it's gnarles at every stage.... more »

  • A Genealogist's Christmas

    ‘Twas the night before Christmas when all through the house
    Not a creature was stirring – not even my spouse.
    The dining room table with clutter was spread
    With pedigree charts and with letters which said:... more »

  • A Midsummer Night's Scream

    A Lawn Bowler's Nightmare

    I sank back into the soft puffiness of my pillows and luxuriated in the warmth of my electric blanket, one eye half watching something rather steamy on cable TV and the other battling with yet another tiresome episode of what is commonly known to the over-fifities as 'eyelid droop.' I was barely concentrating on what was going on. It'd been a hard day, what with a grief encounter with the taxman and another of a similar kind, in the afternoon, with Denis, my bowls coach of a mere two weeks.... more »

  • A Naughty Nando's Poem

    An entry in a Nando's Chicken Poem Contest:

    She was poorly, pale and dof whilst he was Nando-hot
    He found her in the mielie fields of a sprawling country plot... more »

  • A New Democratic South Africa 1994

    Blood intermingled with soil and sea
    Now the common bond of unity
    Triumph over sadness
    Courage makes us strong... more »

  • A Poetic Menage Á Trois

    James Clarke, the funniest columnist in South Africa, hosts a special place in his column for 'pomes' as against poems. He says pomes are awful verses but he can't stop his readers from 'unindating' his column with them.

    One of James' loyal readers, Barry, wrote to him suggesting that James find a 'pote laureate', i.e. the writer of the very worst pome. When James advertised this fact in his column, he spelled 'laureate' 'loreate' in keeping with the spelling of 'pome' as against poem.... more »

  • A Politically Incorrect Tale Of The Politically Inane

    In the late 1980’s Willy Whitesod’s father, the former Willem Terre’Blanche (trans. White soil, or sod) departed his home country, France, to make Ireland his home. Soon after his arrival, he met and married a fair colleen and bore a son with such wondrous eyes that they would, one day, be likened to ‘piercing blow-lamps cutting through the blue-white haze of molten steel.'

    Little Willy, as the child had been called, was unaware of his origins, as his Dublin born mother had died when the lad was but a tumbling tot. The former Aisling McGinty had been both feisty and gentle and had recounted many a vivid tale to her young son about the wee folk, making it a point to assure him that should anything happen to her, she would send him her own special little leprechaun to guard and care for him if ever he should get into trouble.... more »

  • Angel Of God.....

    Angel of God, my guardian dear
    To whom God's love commits me here
    Ever this day be at my side
    To light and guard, to rule and guide. Amen... more »

  • Another Kind Of Loving

    Your way isn't easy
    I feel so small
    You seem so distant
    Whenever I call.... more »

  • At The Start Of The War In Iraq

    Now Idi Amin was Big Daddy
    And Saddam Hussein Bagh Daddy
    Both Daddies are baddies
    But another bad laddie... more »

  • A Schoolgirl's Dilemma

    Some rather tortuous teenage angst from my very dear young friend, Caroline - fifteen then, thirty-six today, and still a beautiful, entertaining, intelligent and perceptive young woman. (I ached for you then; today I read your writing with delight, never quite sure if I should be weeping or chuckling out aloud but doing both all the same. Quite wonderful. It warms me that not only did you survive but that you have become such a wonderful mother, wife and daughter. P.S. If ever it was thought that I was something of a drama queen, believe me, sweetheart, I pale in your shadow! Lots of smiles and may God bless you always. It is my fervent hope that one day you will return to writing. You shine! Aunty M.)

    Dearest Aunty M – I hope my letter finds you well. It was indeed great seeing you on Sunday although the circumstances could have been better. Much tension filled the air. I do apologise for the informal letter but I’m sure you’ll let me get away with it. I’m sure I have mentioned this to you before – formality grinds me! I am watching the hourglass and time’s a-wasting away before my vivid blue eyes. Screams – theirs, mine – they’re afraid of me, Aunty Marg. My loved ones. Am I torturing them? They torture me.... more »

  • Accident By John G.1972

    Mandy stopped awhile beside me
    like you’d stop at the scene
    of an accident.
    She administered first aid... more »

  • All Fall Down (For My Pa)

    Ever-changing circles cloud the contours of my mind
    Ring-a-ring-a-rosy
    All fall down.... more »

  • All Shades Of Brown

    Howdy, Ma, you said
    the day ou came back
    from the Border...
    but it wasn't the dull... more »

  • An Irish Toast

    I picked this up from cousins in Tralee when I was there. Useful to raise a laugh: -)

    Slainté do na bfhear is go mara na mná go deo.... more »

  • And Jesus Wept

    'Lord, if You had been here, '
    Mary Magdalen cried.
    'Lord, if You had been here
    Lazaraus would not have died.'... more »

  • And The Toikey’s Name Was Joseph

    A Saucy Nando's Poem - Poetry Competition

    Now lissen, Vrou, said my Ou, the day that we was wed
    Don’t gimme no, none ‘arf-baked food,... more »

  • And We Looked To The Rising Sun

    We were
    young
    you and I -
    remember?... more »

  • Baba Wam' Ufuna Ilobola

    I know a man so very wonderful, so good and fine
    I know I very much-a wanting him-a to be mine
    He very strong and very mighty like makulu ox
    And he also very funny in his bedtime sox.... more »

  • Bad Hair Day? ....I Mean Bad Poetry!

    What is this world so full of hair
    It can be seen just everywhere
    Growing out of noses
    And other places too….... more »