Yeah i have a book:
Is This What This Is
ISBN # 1-58998-449-8
Autistic and confused, like being shined on by darkness?
Every last one of my poems are written in the last few months (since Mar-Apr 06) . I just figured up I was autistic then. Asperger’s to be exact. well I took some IQ test.140-160 ish, and my IQ runs circles around my mind. and I am trying to find who and what I am. most the time I wish I could just stop thinking! it is my plague, I can't stop reinventing patterns of interest to entice the intent of my mind. while I can't find out why I do the things I do (I wish I could!) I seem to find different ways of guiding my mind instead of letting it lead me. but some people have also helped me apply graphical filters of sort (they don't completely work, but kinda) for dealing with social situations, emotions, etc. (I shake excessively in social situations? not sure why?) I guess I am just insane, since I can never think of just one thought EVER! like I work on 5-15 poems at any given time. and as I said before, I never wrote poetry but these last few months. and it seems my abilities of guiding my autistic mind can shine through my poetry. while it doesn't shine through most of my life. since I ramble and speak in tangents (like rain main, but I am in-between rainman and normal people.) so when I 'shutdown' or freak out, it is even more difficult on me due to the fact that I have an understanding of reality. although I seem to love patterns, the universe, physics, inventing things, reinventing things (it just happens?) , sub atomics, filtration systems for viruses, new future computing abilities of plug and play bios clusters, along with modular ejectable cpu units that may run without any peripherals and would be able to swap and upgrade a laptop without throwing away all of the screen, batteries, and other gunk that the tree huggers don't want us to throw away. washing machines for clothing only and HAVE ONLY EVER THROUGHOUT ALL OF TIME work with one hand. example, take an object of weight. put it in one hand and hold it out. you have 1 point of interactions with said object. well take your other hand and hold the object. MUCH EASIER TO HOLD IT! ! huh? why do washing machines full of water and wet clothing only use one point (one hand) one could say that if they used two points (two hands) then they would have less entropy due to stress and load balancing across two points. so a washing machine with two points, how is that possible? well cut the door out of the curved part of the drum instead of the flat part of the drum being open. done, now you can make a washing machine that uses the flat parts (like the top and bottom of a Pepsi, or can, etc) and have two effective points of control. see I can't stop thinking, from the instant I wake up to the second I go to sleep. plus my poetry seems to help me ignore my autistic headaches, meaning if I am concentrating on 15 different perceptions of poetry and imagery inside my mind. I can ignore the pains in my head/brain. but the more I think the more tired I feel, like I run 30 miles everyday, and yet I don't even have a job, and don't workout, and don't really do much in the way of moving.I feel like a stupid autistic fool, who just won't go away. because I understand that this entire message is one autistically written message. with horrible spelling, and the focus upon my perceptions seem to jump instantaneously as you can probably note by reading this. but I am trying, it just doesn't work that much yet. I would be surprised if anyone made it this far in this message. I imagine most people don't want to hear my stupid autistic ranting that go on and on. seeing as how I don't always want to think them since they go on and on.