180 (2003)

I thought they loved me
To find out that it was just the opposite
Damn, you all did a 180 on me, but…
Can you see the difference on how I handled myself?
Instead of aggressive, defensive, it’s cool, calm and collective
But im still not connected
My head likes to spin
To the smallest inkling of one of my thoughts
When im face to face with myself
I still can’t win
So, I decide to throw the game
Cheat to ensure a win, so still I lose
When will this non-scence end
So I may finally begin.
My thoughts become obtrusive
It’s conclusive
I veer off course
& Know that I’ve intruded,
To a fate that’s been concluded…
These pictures don’t seem to care
That the blood spilled onto the screen
Is what makes us thrive…
& I have just learned-
I’m exclusive.
Sympathy is the last thing I want
People feel sorry for me & that they flaunt
I’m on top of everything going on in my life
That shit you heard are rumors I don’t have strife
So what if I did and why are peoples noses in my shit?
My business is discreet and just another hit
I’ll make this short and sweet, I won!
Over my so called friends drama, shit & slum
Ill keep explaining
I’m straining at the thought of weighing, praying…
Don’t get me started
Just the mention of faith is fuckin retarded
Excuse my anger this foul fuckin language, but
Yes, you guessed correct
My beliefs turn into anger
Now corrupting my fragile environment
Hopefully this 'cold heart' will not harm it.

by Steven Smedley

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