2.My English Teacher Is A Monster (Kids Story)

Poem By Jeff Law

When I was just a youngster
Aged thirteen
I did believe
My English teacher was a monster
Not warm and light, not the friendly type
But a monster with fangs to chomp yah
With sharp fingertips, and all nasty bits
Who smells like a school dinner Dumpster!

I tell my parents about my teacher
They say,
'Don’t lie to me
I don’t believe
Your English teacher is going to eat yah'
“We’ve met him and he's a gentleman
Of which none of these traits did feature'
“But mum I say, I’ve got English today'
Too late, it’s time to face the creature!

The bell rings it’s time for English lesson
What is in store?
There is no way of telling
A shadow falls over the floor
Mr. Brassbee appears through the door
All the Children are steady
With homework at the ready
As Mr. Brassbee puts chalk to the board

A boy whispers at the back of the class
This noise is his last; Sir turns round so fast
And roars with razor like teeth so sharp
We Gasp!
“It is true don’t you see? That yes, oh indeed
The monster is me, Dressed as Mr. Brassbee
I’m in charge of Class C and will very soon be
The headmaster and that means the school
belongs to me!

Sir opens a store closet at the back of the room
But insides no mop, no bucket and no broom
But standing there cold and tall is a 6 foot high cage
For any naughty children who are bad and misbehave
The noisy boy named Chris Hide, got locked up inside
And will remain there until tonight when home time arrives
But wait! There is a change in tonight’s proceedings
Today it is time for Class C’s parents evening!

The time has arrived; it is now 3: 55
All the parents are here including Chris Hides
Looking at Class C’s English work on show in the hall
They wait for Mr. Brassbee to give the first call
But he is still in the classroom; behind the door he hears a shout
And he approaches the store closet to let poor Chris out
But wait, the door wasn’t locked, and Chris jumps out of the way
and I stick out my foot, trip, slip and Sir gets trapped in the cage

And in hearing this Clatter
Everyone outside wonders what on earth is the matter
The headmaster and parents run into classroom C
And see Mr. Nasty, Mr. Monster Brassbee
The headmaster shouts “get back” as the cage bars clank and churn
“Get out of my school monster and never return”
The children turn to their parents; “see mum and dad I told yah
You didn’t believe me when I said; my English teacher is a monster”

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