A Collection Of Limericks Brought On By Bri's Boredom...[ Fourteen Limericks Written In About Seventy-Five Minutes ]
Time Limit For Limericks
An hour and fifteen minutes I've got
to see how many I can jot
down.Limericks I do mean.
About limericks are you keen?
I hope some of mine hit the spot!
Boredom Doth To Poems Give Birth
Yes, I'm bored but writing can help me,
to get through this day; you wait and see.
Already I'm less bored.
To my muse I've implored,
to give me rhymes to offer thee!
A Sunny Day ‘Tis
In "Sunny California" I am now,
sitting lazily, not behind a plow.
But south of me farmers toil,
bringing plants forth from soil.
Other farmers may raise pig, hen, or cow.
I'll Clone Myself In My Spare Time
My mate, with her daughter, has off-flown,
to parts of Europe, leaving me alone.
While I sit and bide my time,
I might as well construct rhyme,
to amuse YOU.Next, I will [ME] clone.
Reading, Reading, Reading
I must finish reading latest novel
which I do read here, in my hovel.
From library it does come.
I'll read it AND eat a plum!
At the author's feet I so do grovel.
To Build A Fence
Our new neighbor cut down some hedge,
next to his new board fence, at border's edge.
But now a gap did exist;
I fenced TOO!I did insist!
It will stand strong, I do now pledge!
Using Up Food Left By Wife
My mate did NOT leave me with "no food".
Oh no, ma'am or sir.That'd be so rude!
I'm but a man; I can't shop,
and what I cook is just slop!
But I'll eat what she left, though meals be crude.
39 Minutes Left
I've thirty-nine minutes on the clock
To finish these limericks.Tick tick, Tock!
Could I reach as much as ten?
We'll find out soon and then
I'll get to mending my poor holey sock! !
I Hear The Young Grandma With Her Grandkid
Upstairs a fifty-year old watches "boy",
her grandson, a toddler, …to her a joy.
But once I heard her say "Ow",
followed by "OW! ! ".Holy Cow.
Perhaps he hit her in her head with toy? ?
Will I Make It To Limerick # Ten?
The race to ten limericks is now ON! !
Will ‘ten' be beauteous like a … Swan?
Or will it seem I was rushed?
Will my audience be hushed?
Will they not dare, at me, to look upon? ?
Are You, Too, Thrilled By Bri's Limerick Skills? ?
Not to pat myself on my own back.No!
But was I not VERY fast, NOT slow? ?
I think I deserve some cake,
and ice cream I will now take
from the freezer.……WHERE did it GO? ! ! !
And Almond Nuts & Maple Syrup As Well
You think cake and ice cream will please me?
Will the nuts and syrup in cupboard tease me? ?
If wife left them there,
I guess she won't care …
if belly's HUGE, next time she does squeeze me.
Fly, Fly For Your Dipteran Life! !
I hear a buzzing round about me now.
Does "Fly" think I live in the stall of cow?
Maybe I do smell a bit,
maybe smell like cow s-h-i-t!
Maybe I smell like filthy suckling sow?
If Truth Be Told, I Thought I Might Make It To Fifteen (Seven Minutes Left)
This fourteenth limerick may be my last.
Mind's shrinking, & fingers are fading fast.
I hope these words don't get lost.
YOU must read.....at any cost! !
Oops!Alarm is ringing.My time is passed.
(September …3rd ….2019)
p.s. I took extra minutes to proofread, adding some commas along the way!