KK ( / Bowling Green, OH)

A Life Of Confusion And Hope

God has a plan for our lives here on earth
He blessed mine completely bestowing you to me at birth
Such a beautiful little baby, I embraced you so near
My heart felt much warmth as I shed my first tear

This world is so big, so much to teach you
I wanted to be your guardian and your protector too

You took your first step, tied your first shoe
Skinned your precious knees, lost your first tooth
My world was complete, filled with much pride
As you met each accomplishment with a smile so wide

On your first day of school I wept as you left
You were always so proud and independent
You wouldn't let me walk you to the front door
Just blew me a kiss and said I love you once more

A kiss, a hug, a moment in time
So much to be thankful for with this baby boy of mine

I watched you play hockey and helped you with school
We memorized capitals, spelling words, new math rules
I was so proud as you pitched your first baseball game
My tears in life happiness for your life with such fame

Your heart is so big, your love so alive
The closeness we shared not easy to find
Everynight before bedtime you asked me to sing
'Somewhere Out There' became such a personal thing

Adolescence caused confusion, a life insecure
Not knowing how to fit in, never feeling very sure
The risk taker in you decided to say yes
Could you not tell your life would become such a mess

Your life has changed, temptations too close
So many difficulties with the life that you chose
Arrested, addicted, now facing probation
So hard to say no, yet changes worth making

This world is so big, how can I teach you
As your protector I failed, this being too new
Tears overwhelming, unsure of your needs
Questioning exactly where will this path lead

The years have gone by only memories remain
Your happiness a blur, your life filled with pain
I will be there for you no matter how life goes
Your guardian, your protector, my love always shows

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Comments (1)

I recognised the 'mothering' in this story. It was more storylike than poetical, for me. A tale of loyalty and love, inspiring in it's attitude of unconditional acceptance of the child turned adult. A great way to release the feelings asssociated with parenthood. For this poet, the act of writing is therapeutic and affirming of her devotion.