SM (21-01-2003 / Odisha, India)

A Meeting With The Moon

I was in company, but at that time, alone,
I was lonely on my bed,
My eyes too turned red
Every time when the hills kissed the sun.

Soon after, I found an orb calling me out,
Up above the rice fields,
The domain where the pearls are yield.
Shrinking and growing on nature's every shout.

I gazed and gazed,
Yet my eyes were shut.
But with their help, I shared my heart
Until, with her, my eyes were embed.

When I eyed on her, she flew away, leaving me beneath the blue.
I really wish I could be up there too.

by Saheb Mohapatra

Comments (5)

Aloha Saheb... There is a mystique... on the view of our moon, above the paddy fields of rice... even in the depths of war, she draws our thoughts and dreams onto the moment... Imagine the other side of this thought that you have expressed to US... that you were the man, looking down upon this earth... for the beginning bard that you are... a bravo for your interests in this craft... inspire to become that word wizard, that is within your sub consciousness... to move forward in your aspirations do begin to write up, reach within and do your research on each subject you entertain... use your online tools... try this site... http: //www.rhymezone.com/... the links will open doors to a more concise and fulfilling free-writing session and an increasingly more complicated vocabulary... Thank you for your efforts and for sharing your thoughts to the all of US... All of the best from this life, to you, and all of your relations... Michaelw1two.
there are moments, sun, moon, meteors all come in line, same with other planets, as man and nature, love and hate, acceptance, recognition, negligence and disapproval, though all are in paths diverse, but are connected by the Benign Being for nature's law of balance to keep preserved for generations. your romantic instinct of the verse keeps the reader engage into a vast field of interpretation. good work, though poetic conventions and beauty here too remains slightly sheepish at distance. a humble reminder.
there are moments, sun, moon, meteors all come in line, same with other planets, as man and nature, love and hate, acceptance, recognition, negligence and disapproval, though all are in paths diverse, but are connected by the Benign Being for nature's law of balance to keep preserved for generations. your romantic instinct of the verse keeps the reader engage into a vast field of interpretation. good work, though poetic conventions and beauty here too remains slightly sheepish at distance. a humble reminder.
When the sun makes his majestic arrival, the moon disappears! They donot like to see eye to eye! Though at night you had company, with daylight you found yourself alone! A very imaginative write! Yes, welcome to Poem Hunter!
A very sweet poem of moon crafted beautifully......great imagery......Saheb......congratulation to eternal platform of PH.......wish you all the best