AS (03-06-1985 / Michigan USA)

A Mommy No More

Oh my god,
What did I do?
All the hell,
I’m putting them through.
I once was a mother,
A loving wife,
Then it all fell apart,
And I took my own life, .

My decision was selfish,
I know that now,
I would take it back in a second,
If only god would allow.
I was confused,
Headed down the wrong track,
And the commitment I made,
I could never take back.

My little boy,
Picks out a bright star,
And wishes on it, from afar.
Mommy you’ve been gone so long,
Please come home where you belong.

I can’t believe the time that’s past,
Look at my babies,
They’ve grown so fast.
I look down,
On the world below,
And I see them,
There sadness shows.

Mommies should never
, Go far away,
Especially if,
It’s in their power to stay.

From presents to cookies,
And trees all aglow,
To an evergreen blanket,
That covers the snow.

Every December they visit, ,
And place it on my grave and cry,
Mommy, How could you leave us,
And not say goodbye?

And if in heaven we had hair,
Mine would all be gray,
Watching little Shelly Rose,
Cruise down the highway.

And Whitney,
What’s a mother to do?
All the hell,
She put me through,
Look at her,
She’s getting so tall,
Would you believe?
She’ll be in highschool next fall?
And my Monkey-butt,
You’ve gotta keep him in line,
And my eyes fill with tears,
Because next month he’ll turn nine.
And my Christopher Michael,
He’s such a good kid,
I guess at some point,
Something right, I did.

And my Ashley Marie,
Is doing ok,
She’ll go far,
I know someday.
Christmas for them,
Will never be the same,
And I only have,
Myself to blame.

And though I still love them,
As much as before,
I resigned from my position,
A mommy,
No more

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Comments (1)

This poignant poem words on several levels. It really captures the irreversible nature of suicide, it shows understanding about how a mother who makes this tragic choice can have love, and it speaks with compassion. A well-written poem with a strong message. I'm glad I got a chance to read this. Peace, Lime & Tequila