A Naughty Nando's Poem
Poem By Margaret Kollmer
An entry in a Nando's Chicken Poem Contest:
She was poorly, pale and dof whilst he was Nando-hot
He found her in the mielie fields of a sprawling country plot
He felt his hormones raging as she turned a pretty heel
Forget the blooming biltong... all he wanted was a feel.
He did some fancy footwork, in a strutting kind of way
And bowed his head towards her for... today was wooing day.
She sighed a gentle sigh and stared, with a longing lonely look
He took her in his arms and said: 'May I remove your doek? '
He stroked her soft and shapely thigh then smoothed on Extra Mild
She groaned then weakly shuddered; her eyes now bright and wild.
He patted then her derriere with sultry Garlic sauce
Her legs began to twitch and jump, with ever-growing force.
His eyelids narrowed, the sauces spread, across her luscious tummy
And as he licked she whispered: 'You're inscrotable but yummy! '
Panting now he chose a few more choice selected bits
And slavished them with Lemon, between her meningeal fits.
'Tis infamy! ' she clucked and sighed, 'you goddit.... infamy! '
'I have indeed, ' he proudly preened, 'so where else should it be? '
Then cock-a-hoop the poultry pair said 'Let us count the ways
That love makes Nando's Peri Sauce so worthy of our praise.'
South African slang:
dof - a bit thick
mielie fields - corn fields
biltong - American beef jerky
doek - a headscarf