Dont Want To Lose You
didn't want to lose you;
by C. J Barclay
You were my best friend,
But it seems I've lost you anyway
I can no longer pretend.
I know that you are angry
But I feel that I must mention,
I'm sorry that I hurt you
That was never my intention.
I wish that I could say to you
All the things I have wanted to,
Everything I have kept insidIe
The feelings I have cast aside.
I wish that I could talk openly
Tell you what is wrong with me;
Maybe then you would understand
And see that I had never planned
To screw things up in such a way
And lose you like I did that day.
I know that it was all my fault
And I hate myself so much,
I just can't stand you hating me
I really have fucked up.
I'm sorry for the way I am
From the bottom of my heart it's true,
I thought that we could still be friends
But I guess that's up to you...
I wish that I was not this way,
I wish that I was more okay
With letting people get close to me,
I wish that I was more carefree.
I don't know why I'm the way I am
I just deal with it the best I can;
I think that means I shut people out
Fill their heads with confusion and doubt,
I'm truly sorry that I hurt you
But can't you see I'm hurting too?
I'm sorry for being me and I'm sorry that I hurt you.