Desperate to be disparate,
Learning to let it all go,
It takes true power of the will,
To know what we had deserves no merit.
It’s a true lesson in life,
Thanks for being my teacher,
You did a damn good job,
By causing so much endless strife.
Love can be, it might exist,
But at the same time,
Is it worth the effort,
Is it worth the risk?
Endless joys could and were brought to my soul,
You fulfilled what I didn’t have,
Yet you never seemed to know,
That what you did made me whole.
dfsbf bw0 dffbdi,
-yerh 00h943h9 gh-9g.
That’s how I view it all,
With contempt, with an aloof air,
Oh, yes, I did feel, I did care,
But why continue, why?
Dissent spreads wherever my feet tread,
I tear things apart, rip them asunder,
It’s who and what I am, what I have become,
Who created this monster?
I’m a creature unknown to myself,
I have gone through too many changes to..
Even begin to believe I know,
Too many changes to even come relatively close.
I was Taer, I was in it for the fun,
I did what I wanted, I cared for myself, and then none,
I took joy from everyone else,
Stealing it to be my own.
I was Colbey, I was the complete opposite,
Everything was for everyone, I had to maintain the Balance,
Everyone depended on my to be their pillar,
Yet I quickly crumbled, when no one tended my cracks.
And then I was Fool,
The most delightful of all things,
Nothing could touch me, yet I cared still,
I was at peace with all other beings.
And Fool I continued,
I hurt as did any other, but quickly I healed,
I had learned how to mend myself, from watching how I had mended others,
And therefore, I had no scars.
And Fool I still was,
Open minded, open hearted, free of everything,
I meandered and I cantered,
Running with freedom of open plains, endless meadows.
And yet still, the same,
I did everything I could for everyone, that was within my abilities,
I didn’t overextend myself at any points, and I did not hurt ever,
I had friends, and I had enemies. I loved the latter the same as the first.
And then you came,
Bringing unknown capabilities with you,
Putting things in my mind which had never before occupied it,
Filling my head with thoughts some think childish.
Romance this, romance that,
The superfluous abundance of my joy spilled forth,
And no matter what happened, it didn’t change,
No matter how you tried to dent the armor of love.
And then, you said it was through, over, done,
I begged, I pleaded, I watched my armor disintegrate,
Chinks appeared, flaws showed in what I thought could protect me,
I continued to stand under this acid rain of scorn.
In the end the armor disappeared, and I was left to my real protection,
My skin, myself, nothing but, no substitutes,
I am the only thing that can keep me from harm, not some..
Idiot notion of a feeling, which only hurts in the end.
You said we were to be apart, to save ourselves any pain,
Works for me, it makes sense, the notion had crossed mine mind,
It hurts briefly, this rent in my soul, yes,
But I am the Fool, it heals.
And the Fool I shall evermore be,
Unchanging as I need, changing if need calls,
But this I shall suffer no more,
This endless torment by people who say they wish to help.
What good does an imbecile of good intentions do,
Too many problems are caused by those,
With good intentions and clouded minds.
I appreciate the effort, but spare me the tedious task, of dealing with you.
So I shall live, and I shall heal,
I shall think, and I shall survive,
It will all fade into a dream,
Which is no more than only that; something that leaves once your sleep is through.