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A Searching Heart
BD (13/01/1987 / Melbourne)

A Searching Heart

I walk along the warm and nestled beach
With the cool water splashing the heels of my feet
I ask myself everyday where are you? Am I yours?
I wait for roaring waves to send me an answer
But nothing comes.
I walk through the colorful garden
Between the daffodils and orchids
With every brush of every petal, I pray
I pray that when I end this peaceful walk, you will be there
But no one appears.
I walk though the crowded streets
I turn left, I turn right
I have no sense of where to go
I stand still in the blizzard of bodies
As the people shove my swollen shoulder I turn to see if it is you
But it is not.
I walk down a cold and lonely alley
Getting tired now but still aware
I search for you in places you could never be
I do not care I must proceed
I open a door that has never been opened
There’s nothing there
But I still go on.
I walk back down the lonely alley
And find myself in the crowded streets; I walk on
I am now walking down the path I once took through the daffodils and orchids
I can hardly keep my eyes open
I now see the splashing waves and I run.
I am in the water now, I listen but there is no sound
I look and see something that wasn’t there before
An object floats towards me with a slow pace
I swim, my arms so weak
I stop and wait.
I feel something hitting my belly
I pick it up not knowing what to expect
It is a bottle; it is so cold my hands can hardly hold it
I rub the bottle with my torn sleeves
Then I see it; the waves answered my call
It is a message.
I open it as if it were gold inside
As I read the mysterious letter I cry
You sent me this message to tell me the worst
You are gone!
I cannot breath I feel the current now
It is pushing me away
I’m so tired I want to sleep
I cry because of all this pain
My legs give way I am falling now
There is nothing I can do.
I cannot breathe; the water is covering my mouth
I am too tired to struggle
I look up and see the sun glaring through the water
It is getting darker now my eyes show me nothing
I am alone in the dark
I’m falling, falling
Now I am blacking out, I sleep but then I wake
Now I realize what I must do
I give up now; I am gone too
But now I’m with you!

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Comments (2)

By the way, this poem is very remenisent of Shulamite's search for King Solomon - I'll post it shortly. DGP
Bree, I read all 4 of your poems, and it sounds like you've had your share of hard knocks. But it also sounds like deep down you know there are better more peaceful times ahead. God will help you get there if you let him. DGP