NK (1981 / Nakuru, Kenya)

A Song Of Anguish

I don’t want to see the sea,
To have its cool breeze graze my tormented soul
I hate the laughter at the beach,
The ambivalent exuberance
For it only deepens my anguish, grays everything

The memory of your smooth skin, your pearly face,
Threatens to crack my being, my wholeness
Your throaty laughter, your lingering smile,
Heightens my despair, weakens my will to live
The memory of you trails me like a shadow,
The whirling waves seem to mock me
How we laughed……….
How we gazed into the horizon

I thought our love was like the ocean- boundless,
I thought it was like hunger- ever present
I crave your mouth, your voice, your hair,
I can only wish you had not deserted me
Within me, I feel little drops of anguish collecting,
It’s like the smoke that roams looking for a home
I can see it drifting into me, choking my lost heart.
My hands are on my neck – breathless
I can feel your silhouette fluttering beside me,
I can see you fading into the empty distance

Oh, why did you have to chastise me?
I wander the earth perplexed,
Asking; Will you come back?
Will you leave me here, perishing?
Will you ever come back?
And save me from oblivion.

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