Addiction

I’ve paced the room forty times over
Clenched my fists till my palms have bled
But no matter what I do
You are still here in my mind
I hate loving you so much
But still

You are my addiction
I love the way my thoughts of you taste
And the way they make me feel
But I feel too, too much
Why can’t I be numb

I keep you bottled up for myself
Like a selfish bitch
I will never share
But how could I
The second I spoke a straight jacket would be handed to me
You’re not even something I could drink away
And they don’t make drugs strong enough
Trust me

You are my addiction
I love the way my thoughts of you taste
And the way they make me feel
But I feel too, too much
Why can’t I be numb

No AA can cure this
The only thing I think is how to say goodbye
Saying good bye is the main priority
But is it really called goodbye
When you’ve never said hello
You always make things difficult
You are my love
My life
If I close the door on me
It would close the door on you too
I can’t find the doorknob fast enough

You are my addiction
I love the way my thoughts of you taste
And the way they make me feel
But I feel too, too much
Now I’ll finally be numb

by Alicya Trevor

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