An American Death, Revised

To see an American Death,
see the bitter green, acrid factory smoke and fumes
from belching, sprawling, raw-edged factories.
See the tired, greasy figures in shabby overalls,
muted, smothered, caged automatons,
the cigarette shufflers of their generation.

See the bitter green air, foul, toxic, stinking,
belching outward from the sprawling factories.
See the tired, greasy workers, muted,
behind leaden gates that are closing
on the scalding haze, gloom choking life out.
You will see skeletal death passing within.

There are hearts aching with dull grief tonight
for another life was claimed.
They search for and find memories, unanswered love,
and tears fall unbidden, carrying their sorrow to the grave.
But their spirits are together,
seeking and finding the light.

And they, suffering through another American death,
have their torn shrouds, full of holes,
their cloak for all their sorrows,
which is mended with silken thread
and full of tepid tears.

by Scarlett Treat

Comments (16)

Hey Scarlett - Very descriptive of a too authentice glimpse at the death of the American dream! It's similar to my 'The Drying Sleep' except much more detailed. Thanks for this glimpse at what we've become! cheryl
SSS, your penning is awesome. There is indeed nothing that has not beensaid of this uniquely atmospheric, grim, well-structured piece. So the challenge of improving it in the second revision which I see listed and am about to look at is one hell of a challenge indeed! My hat off to you, sweets. t x
Nothing to add that hasn't been said already. An excellent poem, Scarlett. Love, Fran xx
Overwhelming Scarlett simply overwhelming.Mavellous last two Stanza's as Gregory stated.Can see the chimneys and fractionating columns against the skyline in profile now.Plus smoke......................Pollution? Lived most of my early years next to chemical plants and a big oil refinery.Thats why i'm CRAZEEEEE. PS you would be more than welcome at Stratford UK May 2007 cousin.Tell your mates and anyone else on PH.BIG PARTY PROMISED. Respectfully Sid John.
Bellisimo and Magnifico! A bit of encouragement and you come shining through with these additional 2 stanzas to enhance an already potent poem. I guess you work well under pressure.
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