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Are My Test Results Back?
(04 October 1943 / Germany)

Are My Test Results Back?

Poem By Herbert Nehrlich

His operation had been a success,
a student nurse arrived with sponge and soap.
He slurred his speech, 'hello my dear, God bless.'
She knew he was still under all that dope.

'I'm here to sponge your legs and arms and then your back, '
she whispers, reddening, to which he then replies:
'Please tell me if my testicles are black? '
She hesitates, then looks him in the eyes.

She pulls the covers from his legs in one swift move.
Grabs hold of all his most essential, precious ware,
inspects the balls and referee, also the groove.
'No sir, ' she whispers, ' they are coloured pretty fair;

you must be groggy from the op still but to think
that they would change while you were under the old knife
to raven black from velvet soft and pretty pink
please be assured, they will be longing for your wife.'

'I thank you kindly, ' he replies, 'for this sweet touch
I have not felt such pleasant feelings in some time,
I do appreciate your hand so very much
and may I add that all my gear is in its prime.'

And then he asked her, with a touch of burning need:
'would you give me now the answer I still lack:
Leave your hand there, it is healing me, indeed
Are my test results, the urgent ones, now back? '

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Comments (2)

I have known the joke for a long time... today I see the 'poetic version'... who else could have done this! ! ! ! I laugh with aroha, Dxx
Herbs, this is saucy, cheeky, and naughty with a warning to overly-innocent patient-care operatives of the female sex everywhere! How the hell have you been these past few weeks anyway? G.


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