A fake who had run into strife
re-appeared as another man's wife.
Name is August oh yes?
And a female, no less
go and f**k yourself, get a new life!
They will never allow him to come
to their party, he's simply too dumb.
Not a talent of note
it is curtains she wrote
and for you, there ain't even a crumb.
He attended his own circumcision,
his strange father had made the decision.
From the day this took place
it was simply a case
that he lacked even simple cognition.
Though he ventured to where they do write.
Thought that poetry might need a light
not a single soul read
what came out of his head,
he was neither too handsome nor bright.
Well, he could not believe that they would
that they might and that (really!) they could,
so he crashed through the gate
when a fellow said Mate,
we cut balls off of every hood!
He assured them he was not a felon
or a fiddler, his name would be Helen.
But they cut off his tail
in the Worcestershire Jail
and the rest of it, well..I'm not tellin.