Balm For The Soul

saturday morning,
the scars begin to bleed,
take stock of all
that cannot be free.
make amends with shadows,
childhood lost,
no friends or family
around these days,
left alone
to anoint the ache.
pray against
pregnancy,
no desire to birth
a child,
not even a thought process
to enlighten,
i ruptured from your manipulation
of the situation.
heart on fire,
melt down of mind,
can you see the beauty
in a smoking gun?
can you feel the
revelation in a suicide note?
i can &
i do-
this isn't good-bye
cruel world,
i love and hate you-
if i'm forced to admit the truth.