We are told what a woman should be, and in an instant it becomes a childhood dream.
by Riley Choma
I was told about beauty before I learned my body had a brain, and I became obsessed with becoming the teenage girls on TV.
In the 2nd grade I remember going to school and being put down because you couldn't see my bones, and my face was too round.
Every year they told me I was ugly so in grade 5 I wore makeup and fancy clothing hoping they couldn't see through me.
They called me a slut so in grade 6 I dressed in guys clothing.
They called me a fat lesbian bitch while I was in the change room at school and even threatened to kill me as I was walking home.
In grade 7 I become obsessed with death and wrote my very own suicide note.
My parents found the note so in grade 8 I left my school.
Today I hate my body and everyday is a struggle.
I look in the mirror and see not a girl but whale...
I look at my thighs, belly, and arms, and I suffocate in inadequacy.
I feel like no one could ever love me, and every time he tells me I'm beautiful I don't believe him, and that fucking kills me!