Because I Had Too

Poem By Sarah Cotnam

im having trouble shutting my eyes
but it makes no difference now
it could be day forever
but my world will ever be black
im hoping it's just a stage
for it to end soon
so i could grow out of this
away from this
see the light on the opposite end of the tunnel
inside this train going faster than light

i have no control
so dont ask me to turn left when the tracks turn right
dont ask me to follow you when you turn away
stop asking me
i cant leave this train-tracked way

i think if i scream loud enough
my soul will leave me
so i scream quietly
but im getting louder every time

my tortured soul
im hugging to a starless sky
waiting for the moon to rise
waiting for what the tide will bring
im waiting for you
my other half
in this misunderstanding world
someone to catch my tears
even before they leave my eyes

liquid life is drained from me
im not stopped by shiny things
the brightest has far gone blinded me
so im left in constant dark

you raped away my self hood
and along with, sense of pride
i can only think of you now
constantly i hide
in the black, barricaded
sitting against my door
you will never be in again
my room is shut with my soul
that you will never get in

Comments about Because I Had Too

Very powerful. If you read much of the younger writer's here you'll see, many of you feel the same way...this should give you some comfort in knowing you are not alone and yes, it is a stage that with patience and determination you will get through and be so much stronger for it. Take care. Sincerely, Mary

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Other poems of COTNAM

Sorry I Never

im missing the good old days
where i sat alone in my room
where the darkness fades under my eyes
and i needed much more sleep

A Love, A Life

A soul,
A spirit,
and a mind of your own

The Gallery

Welcome to my secrets.
The gallery of glory,
the gloom and I'm sorry,
but no photographs please.

Darkest Days

i used to have my darkest days
i used to never sing nor play
i used to cry when no one would see
and wait for someone impatiently

(incomplete And Missing)

already the days go by
ticking life along
and when we stop
to see ourselves


the light the light