Behind The Compliments

Poem By Joan Fontanilla Balmania

You said I am a leader but why can't I direct myself?
You said people are drawn to me but why can't I feel them?
You said I am good looking but why am I afraid of mirrors?
You said I am attractive but why am I scaring people away?
You said I am impressive but why am I nameless?
You said I am loving and happy but why do I feel worthless?
You said I am creative but why do I feel useless?

You said I stand out but why do I feel invisible?
You said I am unique but why am I insignificant?
You said I have the confidence but why am I always afraid?
You said I am wonderful but why do I feel so rotten?
You said I am honest but why do I always pretend?
You said I am incomparable but why am I unimpressive?
You said I am refreshing but why am I always depressive?

You said It's hard to see someone for who they are on the inside
Because the world is totally different from the outside
And I say I know that we live in a world of make-believe
Because us people, like Eve, we deceive

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On Emotions

A person is not giving you a cold shoulder for no reason.
You might have hurt feelings or acted foolish enough to touch an ego.

On Time

There is always a time for everything.
You can never tell, though, if it's the last or the beginning.

Episode I

Blame the voices for being awake at this time of the night
Night. It's 2: 30 in the morning. Sweet dreams to all.
Who cares what time is it?
The sun is still shining at the far side of the Earth


I'm freaking smart. I'm bloody clever. Because I did.
I did shut you out. You will never win. Because I'm cunning.
Counting the tablets. All seven of them.
Lined them up on a queue


Blame the chemicals!
Blame it for my indifference
The way I say I love you now but not love you tomorrow
The way I let you feel you are special but hold back after a minute