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Believer...
RJ (25 October 1978 / Bronx, NY)

Believer...

Though in truth, I am a pessimist
Expecting a trampled heart
So I keep everyone at an arm’s length
Until they have proven their worth
Or the lack thereof…
I am more a fool to love
Yes I am, I must tell you
I can’t lie or pretend to be someone
Who I obviously am not
Some get hurt and develop a wall
An insurmountable barrier in their heart
That restricts the blood flow…
I once had that problem
Something about super healing…
I tell this as a joke.
But so true it is.
I hurt just like anyone.
Maybe more sensitive than the average man
But then maybe my sensitivity allows me
To know exactly where in my heart
The wound was left
Making it that much easier to heal…
Whatever…
I was once able to be hurt
And so I learned the ability to heal myself.
And now I understand the art of healing
So I would do it all again
But this time
I would yield myself to love 10-fold
Instead of the often and so foolishly prescribed amount
Giving just enough to be safe?
I don’t want to be safe…
I believe in love…
I believe it is there, waiting to be found.
Waiting for me…
And I will find her.
The real thing…
Not some vague fallacy…
Hopeless romantic that I am…
Everything that I have
All this love is waiting
Put in boxes and locked away
For her…
Everything piled at the door
Waiting for someone to use
The right key…
Once unlocked, my love would pour out on her
Like the breaking of a damn…
But maybe it won’t happen…
Maybe I am wasting my time…
Better to keep hope and live
Than to lose it and let my heart die…
Nothing beats a try but failure…

by RichOne aka L.O.T.C.J.

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