DDM (11/01/1984 / Sault Ste. Marie, Ontario Canada)

Bi-Polar

Life for me is waking up everyday afraid of my own mind.
Fearing what pain I can inflict on myself unintentionally.
Sometimes I think sanity is a concept made by crazy people
In a despreate attempt to believe they're not crazy.
People tell me that it will get better, that one day
if I work hard enough I will live happily
Fools they don't understand, they don't understand that
it's the pressure and work that defeats me
Life is far more scarier than death, when you die
the light that blinds you shuts off and the world exists as it should be.
They say there is a reason to live but I haven't found it
worse yet I haven't found a reason to die either, its as if
my mind refuses to make a choice, forever stuck in conflict.
The hardest thing is seeing everyone happy and enjoying the suffering
Why can't I smile that stunned ignorant smile and say I'm one of you?
Why can't I surrender my mind to some other master and rid
myself of this fight? Take it if you want it I can part with it.
Gentle star that gives me hope, shed light on me
Fill me with the strength to go on in this, to make it right
End the wars and silence the parties, I'm done for today
I have thought on my own to much and the sickness is comming back
The smell is pungent and I can feel the suffication,
Can someone speak to me with the mouth of reason
Tell me that I'm alright, that I am making this world up
Lie to me if you have to, I no longer care about the details.

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