This bike of mine was doing just fine
by Elmer Butts
when I rode it to the old shoe store,
but then I came out and without a doubt,
it was not the same anymore.
It shakes and grinds and bounces and whines,
which this was plain to see,
when it shook me off into a briar patch
and bounced me up a tree.
It rattled my glasses off my face
and almost hit a truck,
I'm glad I'm not in a bicycle race,
I'd sure be out of luck.
It's hard to peddle and it just won't steer,
I can barely stay on the seat.
I've rode it for an hour now,
but it's only moved a few feet.
My shoes were new just a while ago,
but now they're battered and tore.
I wonder what happened to cause all of this
when I parked it at the old shoe store.
I think I see the problem now,
after wearing out my heels.
Well I'll be a hog-tied ding-dong daddy,
somebody stole the wheels.