Big Crit

Big Crit authorizes any person who has been called a poet in print to wear an arm-band bearing the Happy Face.

Big Crit decrees that anyone who wins a poetry prize shall in respect of that honor give all subsequent public readings of his or her poetry while wearing Groucho glasses.

Big Crit hereby commissions the production of an anthology to contain every poem ever published in which a television set appears, all copies of which are immediately to be burnt.

Big Crit ordains that henceforth all love poems shall be printed in mauve ink on lavender paper and all war poems shall be printed in Gothic type and all poems about poetry shall be printed upside-down and backwards and all poems about one's grandmother shall be printed in black ink on black paper.

Big Crit enacts that from now on the verbal content of all paid
political advertisements shall consist solely of excerpts from the plays of Aristophanes.

Big Crit orders all those possessing a budgerigar to teach said avian to recite one line from the verse of William Carlos Williams;

and Big Crit further declares April 25th of each year to be Annual Bird Bard day, on which the recitation of poetry shall be forbidden to all but parakeets, so that there may be no ideas but in budgies.

by Jon Corelis

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