AK (04 06 1987 / Bath UK)

Breaking

I see me sitting sadly in the corner
Knees drawn up tightly to my chest.
Mind and body wreaked in sorrow
As tears stream down my face.
Upon something that I cannot face.

I pray to a God who I don't believe in
Yet I curse him in the same breath.

I look at myself with narrowed eyes
Pitying the sorry creature I have become.
I look into my wrecked soul
Cursing the emptiness inside.
Cursing and hating
The bastards that helped make me this way.

Emptiness put there by my own stupidity.
For not speaking out of some past events
As I stand over the huddling form of myself

I see I have gotten what I deserved from life.
Oozing out all the pain and misery within my soul.
There on top of all the shattered pieces
Lay my beating heart, all alone.
I gently pick it up and place it where it belongs.
May it rest in peace forever.

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Comments (1)

Oh Amy, this is just so heart wrenching and sad. When I had had enough, and forced my doctors to start my transition, I prayed to Gof the Father, that through His son Jesus, I would have loving frinds and family, and that I would be able to go through this transition as healthy as I could. God has answered my prayers, and through His son Jesus and his holy Angels, he has been watching over me. I will not force my beliefs on you tho, and tell you why I believe in God and His sonJesus and all the Heavenly host. But I will say that prayer does help, if you actually allow yourself to believe. I don't mean go to church, I mean just pray. But that is up to you tho. I believe God has sent me to you to help you deal with this crisis that has you so bottled up inside that the only way you can deal is to cut yourself, and maybe try other ways too. But as God is my witness, and through His son Jesus, I will be there for you Amy. I love you like my little sister, and I don't want to see you hurt. Stay strong Amy, because it is in our strength that we can heal. Hugs & kisses oxoxoxoxox Barbara 'If I have to be this girl in me, Then I have the right to be.'