TW (1-5-93 / )

Can'T Find Myself

I recall a person I once knew very well;

but i don't anymore
all those times she felt on top of the world
or maybe just on top of everything that mattered
someone who always believed
eventually there would be a happy ending
no matter the situation

someone who, no matter, how many times she fell down
picked herself up
murmured that it was just growing pains
and got up taller than before
and she wasn't worried about a fall from
new heights
she was fearless enough to try.

and really, she believed on deaths grips
would stop her happiness
because every storm passes
and no pain lasts

and then you came

and i swear you're no pain
you're total destruction
and you destroyed me.

i was so tall,
i fell deep,
so she ran away with you
and left me
to wallow in pity. self-pity
because she couldn't live her
and i can't find her
i'm not so fearless anymore.

but i'll continue to look for her
in all the places she never was
and never will be
like hoildays spent alone
because i can't bring myself to get out of bed
or pills that numb my heart
but nowhere in the dictionary
is happy defined as apathy

the relapsing memory
or who i once was
and can never be again

because i don't know how
and i'm scared to find out

only to end up here again.

User Rating: 5 / 5 ( 0 votes ) 1

Robert Frost

The Road Not Taken

Comments (1)

WOW finnally someone on this website who has a heart someone who is using there poetry from experience! ! ! This is true poetry with a purpose and a heartfelt purpose at that! ! i Give your poem a 12 on a scale from one to ten! you are a real person with a real heart. and I want to extend to you a true and unconditional love that is endless and filled with joy endless if we just try it! ! For me i was once lost and broken but Jesus Christ Showed himself to me! If you are a believer already that is awesome and if you believe in something else that is awesome too and if you dont want to hear what i said it is ok, but I have found the purpose to mhy life and i float through it knowing I will have a happy ending: ] i know 100 percent that I am going to heaven when I die. And if you dont believe these things it is ok I will still Love you the same! ! ! you are a great poet and a great person I can tell just by your writing lol sorry if this message scares you but I just wanted to let you know that there Is a meaning to life and an unconditional love! ! ! ! through the blood of Jesus Christ if you have any questions ask me and I will try to answer them for you! ! ! !