[Historical note: this poem reflects a factual account of what happened to one of my mediaeval ancestors as he stopped for a drink on a journey along the King's Road.]
Late at night a thirsty seal wanted to visit a castle's bar.
The landlord came to the window and said, 'We're closed, have you come far? '
'Yes, ' replied the seal, 'I've come a long way by car'.
So the landlord served him a bucket of boiling tar.