RTJ (17 September 1978 / Dehradun)

Choice

I have got bruises all over
I’ve felt this pain for so long that sometimes it does not hurt anymore
I longed for things which now do not matter
I cried for broken dreams which were easily replaceable
I won’t say that the world was mean, guess I wasn’t careful enough
I won’t say that the friends broke my trust, guess I didn’t trust the right people
Every time things did not go right, I questioned my abilities and
Every time things went right, I doubted my destiny
These bruises are self inflicted injuries, knowingly or unknowingly, somehow they just happened…
I chose this pain because it could not have been there, if only if I wanted…
I lingered long to something which has happened, which is irreversible
I judge myself as much as I judge others and am so lost in this fruitless game that I stumble hard on every obstacle; I do not learn the lesson and keep on going till eternity, with a restless mind and wrecked soul…I feel tired in this shell and I want to feel free…I wish to be free from jealousy, anger and greed..
I want to make new friends…and want to be with wisdom and laughter
I choose happiness and freedom to be mine because I know; I will get anything, if only I really want….

by Richa Tiwari Joshi

Comments (2)

very strong and full of emotions and how frankly u all is admitted...hurt yet not blaming nyone i liked the attitude of this poem wishes anjali
very touching senstivity creates hurt but then how can poets be devoid of that...that is in the personality. People you trusted were not worth trusting....pain is why did you trust at all....Superb Chhavi anupam