GL (August 31,1991 / Zamboanga City)

Christmas Heartbreak

Thanks to you, i feel like this,
Thanks to you, i'm most terrible with this,
Bearing all our sweetest memories,
In my chest hoping that something will struck it eternally,
Thanks to you my dear, thanks!
I've always loved you with no expectations,
With nothing to will nor desire,
But i think God heard my damn prayers,
You didn't even trust me...
now i feel that my eyes are warm,
my chest seems heavy when i write these words,
and my troat seems to hide something heavy deeply,

You have always been my inspiration to write love poems,
now you're still my inspiration to write such a sad poem,
you dare not cut your wrist, or else forget me,
i will only smile and hug you as my friend if and only if that scar from your wrist will fade away, hopefully...

Now this Christmas has always been so gloomy for me,
i know it will always be,
if not for you, then always deep inside me,
sometimes i wish that this year's christmas will hail go down for a very meaningfull 2007 here in Philippines,
Sometimes i Pretend that I'm happy that you're gone,
but always, i find myself grieving over my torned apart soul,
i promised you that i will hold onto you hands until the day you let go,
but it seems that that day came,
you told me to move on,
now i'm moving on...

This early 2008, i thought i still love you,
i care for you trully,
that's true! (no it isn't!)
two opposing forces is always inside me fighting,
i'm always your old friend who cares for you trully,
i'm always your ex-boyfriend who will always care for you secretly,
and i'll always be the GanNi you used to know, that smiles often but can always draw a thousand meaning out of it.

-GanNi

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