KR (August 5th 1989 / Toledo)

~church~

I see you,
Coming toward the car,

-My stomach flops.

I play it off as nothing,
As if youre not there,

-My heart cries.

I see you in church,
And you look happy,

-A smile forms.

You leave for a minute,
You look unhappy,

-My heart sinks.

After church,
You pull me off to the side,

-My body freezes.

You tell me you still want to talk,
And you ask for a hug,

-I jump at the chance.

Things seem normal again,
Like nothing ever happened,

-Im the happiest I've been in weeks.

But then I remember,
Remember her,

-My stomach flops.

User Rating: 4,0 / 5 ( 3 votes ) 3

Comments (3)

The word that needs the apostrophe is 'Im'.
I liked this - I would capitalize all the 'I's that refer to you. I would put a space after the dashes, but that's fairly subjective. Lastly, you need an apostrophe toward the end, I think in the word 'Ive'. Good one. Jeff
This is very good and the single lines are very effective - well done