EHH ( / Jacksonville, FL)

The Fracas I Got Into

Did I tell you about the fracas I got into at
my church? I was in the little church store
admiring a small metal crucifix with a
wooden base. Then I saw that they wanted
$39.95 for the damn thing! I told the lady
working there that that was a rip-off. She
explained that it was hand-made. Hand-
made? I told her these things are churned
out by the thousands in Asian sweatshops.
So she said the Lord would be pleased if I
spent the money. I said yeah, right, like the
Lord told you that. She kept throwing out
dumb arguments. Finally, she called in the
church heavies and lied to them that I was
harassing her. These two guys came, called
me “Sir, ” and told me to leave, but I said I
didn’t have to. So they tried to grab me and
we struggled and some stuff got broken
(their fault) . I was able to kick one of them
in the head. You’d have been proud of me.
I put up a good fight. But they finally threw
me outside. As I lay there on the sidewalk,
one of them said to go home and dry out. As
if I’d been drinking! So I’ve started working
out at the gym. I’m getting bulked up. Those
church goons are in for a surprise.

User Rating: 5,0 / 5 ( 4 votes ) 5

Comments (5)

If you could get a standing ovation from one man sitting in his office reading poetry from a French website while he should be doing his work...well then, I would do that. My priest friend will love this.
Another fun story, although the most unbelievable part is the last 2 words of the first sentence. Oh well, willing suspension of disbelief seems appropriate in any poem about religion. -chuck
a charming poem funny and true but as always beyond the laughter the brutality can't be hidden and here I'm talking on a vast scale especially the early violence in South America against the Indians by these guys who you're going up against once the muscles start rippling. a fine poem
Are we going to get a new name 'Professor Heavy Mob', or 'The Incredible Hulk'. Gosh, they sounded very christian in that church, a bit like the Temple that the Lord went into and scattered the coins of the money lenders. Stand up and fight Mate. I'm with you. Love Ernestine XXX
This is hysterical, thank for sharing PPH. That god squad can be real heavy huh? lol 10 from smiling again Tai