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Climbing
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Climbing

Poem By Matthew Bresette

I
Climbing a mountain…alone…no one beside you to watch you fall. In the
middle you stop and look down…looking down…seeing everything for miles
on end…you are in love you realize…in love with the view…without looking
up…beginning to climb up, up, and up…all without looking to where you
are climbing…hooked on the view…looking at the view is all you think of
Looking up…noticing that you are at a dead end…no backtracking…forwards,
backwards, sideways, or any type of side you can think of…stuck…where to
go you wonder…nowhere…you are stuck…yelling at the top of your lungs…
freezing in mid yell…noticing for the first time that there is no
settlements or even a village to answer your helpless call…seeing none…
waiting…waiting…waiting for what…you know not…yet you are waiting...limbs
are getting tired…debating to let go…deciding not to…hungry…food in the
backpack…daring not to go fetch it. For once you have time to think…
drawing conclusions…none are relevant to your predicament at this time…
deciding to look down…seeing nothing…again…strength in limbs are fading…
fading…gone…starting to fall…silently…dead…no more life in the limbs…back
on the same spot…again…limbs stop working…falling…falling…dead…fifth…
sixth…seventh time you let go…not waiting for you limbs to fail…not
wanting to die another time…waking up…finding it was some horrible dream…
drenched, soaking wet…looking up from the base of the mountain…seeing a
spot that looks familiar…looking around…seeing no one but yourself…
starting to climb…having second thoughts…stop climbing…climbing down…
fast…losing your footing…falling…falling...silently…hitting the ground…
gasping for air…getting up…packing…leaving…can’t wait to get away…can’t
wait to go home…to a civilized place. Another time…same place…same thing…
different person…same dream…same result
II
Climbing a mountain…alone
Base…looking up…seeing your trail…waiting…gaining the courage to begin
climbing…each day…same place…same decision…next day…same thing…next day…
same thing…fifth day…same decision…seventh day…enough is enough
Climbing…up, up, and up…middle…looking down…freeze…can’t move…petrified…
hanging on…four...five…six hours…letting go at seven…falling…falling…
ground…dying…dying…nothing can save you…well…something can save you…
spiritually…not a dream
Dying…losing oxygen…suffocating…broken ribs…punctured heart…coughing up
blood…blackness everywhere…fading light…last breath…hurts so badly…blood
all around…nothing but blackness…dead…dead as a doornail…no one saw you
climb…fall…die…no cares if you die…no one misses you…wouldn’t let them…if
only you let them…if only you let them…

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