(12/31/1968 / hudson falls, new york)

Coercing The Judges [perfomance]

Judges, I beg you
I need this victory
This poetry slam
I'm not concerned
Of the other slams
It's this slam
I'm concerned with
I'll do anything
For the biggest score
You need money?
Don't have much
You can have all of it
Maybe wash your car
All summer
Mow your lawn
All summer
Rake your lawn
All autumn
Shovel your drive and walk
All winter
Go on a date
With you female judges
Or go out with
Your sister, daughter
Aunt, mom, girlfriend
You see this is how low
I'll sink, just to get you judges
To give me the highest score
Am I proud to beg like this?
No, I am not
I don't like being pathetic
If it gets me the highest score
Don't care how pitiful I look
As long as I win
This is the most important slam
Other slams, I don't care about
You, are my only hope
Next slams, don't care
If I get a big fat ZERO
But this one, I need the highest score
Don't make it too obvious
Don't need a ten
A nine-point-nine is just fine
Hope we can work something out
Give me this slam on a silver platter
Name it, I'll do anything
It's simple a nine and a dot, than another nine
I'm not aking you
To slay a dragon
Murder someone
Rob a bank
Fight a bear
Wrestle a gator
The slam is so important
My mom is here
On her last legs
I'd ask her to stand
But not on her own
My grandma is here too
She's behind my mother
On her way to the pearly gates
I'd ask her to stand
But she's too short
Top it all off my wife is here
With a child in her
It'll be difficult for her to stand
At this time
We've came far, far, far away
We need the measily piece of cash
To get back home
Look deep into your heart
Don't make the three of them
Crawl all the way home
Which is far, far, far away
My wife might concieve
In the middle of nowhere
I'm getting on my knees
I'm getting on my knees
I'm begging for the highest score
Don't do it for me
Do it for my mom, gram and wife
Which came far, far, far away
Name your price
I'll be glad to do
Just about anything
Doesn't matter
What it is
That's how much
This victory means to me
Don't worry, your kindness
Will be awarded
So give me a big nine-point-nine
I'm begging you
Did I mention the condition?
My mom, gram and wife is in
And we've came
Far, far, far away
Please help us out
Just this once
I won't ask for
Anything else of you

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