Poem By Professor Poetry Hound
Isn’t it frustrating how Muslims say you’ll go to hell
if you’re not a Muslim and Christians say you’ll go
to hell if you’re not a Christian? There’s no way to win.
You just have to gamble that you choose the right
door. Maybe religions that don’t believe in hell, like
Judaism and Buddhism, are the way to go. But that’s
no good either because if you’re Jewish, you get
accused of all sorts of cockamamie conspiracies, and
if you’re Buddhist you could get reincarnated as a clam.
Reincarnation is like a big lottery. You could come back
as a Republican, which means you’d have to mouth off
all the time about creationism and gays. That’s a case
where God would probably regard suicide favorably.