MZ (22 April,1978 / India)

Curse On The Day I Was Born

Curse on the day I was born
Curse on the night I was conceived
Turn that day into darkness
Never again let light shine on it
A day of gloom & pitch black darkness
Make it a barren & joyless night
Keep the morning star from shining
Give that night no hope of dawn
Curse that night for letting me be born
For exposing me to trouble & grief
I wish I had died in my mother’s womb
Or died the moment I was born

Once a message came quietly
So quietly I could hardly hear
Like a nightmare it disturbed my sleep
I trembled and I shuddered
My whole body shook with fear
A light breeze touched my face
And my hair bristled with fright
I could see something standing there
I stared, but couldn’t tell what it was
Then I heard a voice out of the silence
Thy LORD is hearing … say….

Why, LORD, my GOD, did YE let me be born?
I should have died before anyone saw me
To go from the womb straight to the grave
Would have been as good as never existing
Isn’t life almost over?
Let me enjoy the time left over
Put thy heart right, Zeeshan.
Reach out to thy LORD
Put away evil & wrong
Then face the world again
Firm and Courageous
Then all thy troubles will fade from thine memory
Like floods that are past and remembered no more
Thine life will be brighter then Sunshine at noon
And life’s darkest hour will shine like the dawn
Thou will live secure and full of hope

But nothing I say helps
And being silent doesn’t calm my pain
I mourn and I sit here in the dust defeated
I have cried until my face is red
And my eyes are swollen & circled with shadows
My years are passing now
And I have walked the road of no return
The end of my life is near
I can hardly breathe
There is nothing left for me but the grave
My days have passed, my plans have failed
My hope is gone
But my friend says night is daylight
They say that light is near
But I know I remain in darkness
My only hope is the world of the dead
Where I’ll lie down to sleep in the dark
I’ll call the grave, my father
And the worms that eats me
I’ll call my mother and my sisters
Where is there any hope for me?
Who sees any?
Hope will not go with me
When I go down to the world of dead.

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Langston Hughes

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