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Dear Patron...

(for the librarians)

All items must be returned
no later than the last date stamped
a $.10 per-item per-day fine will
be leveled for ash each addtional
day you decide to keep it.

Actually, no, I did not
recognize yo. I did not
think; 'Oh dear, this person
always has fines.' I did not
lick my chops in anticipation

No, I'm sorry, we cannot
make change for a $100 bill
yes, I'm aware the book
was returned, it was still
late. No, the fine always
stops at the value of the
book. no, I can't give
it to you, we are in
the lending business
try Borders

yes, I'm sure I see
you in here all the time
yes, you can make a check
out for your.80 fine

A yes, that's very funny,
I'll be sure to present it
before the library board. They'll
be glad to name a shelf in honor
of you and your late fees
what an innovative idea.

Okay, have a nice day,
thank you. Yes? May
I help you? No, I'm afraid
I can't show you where 'stories
about cat's for 3rd graders' are
kept. I'm afraid mr. Dewey
never thought of it.

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