Death Or Heartless

Sitting in that chair phone to my ear
Sitting in that chair and it was all so clear
This was the end of everything pure
This was the beginning of my new fear
Hearing those words that came through
Looking at him, said he saw my heart break in my eyes
Said he felt the tension of my pain
Said he could see my body shake
Said all he saw he didn’t think he could take
I stood there and his hands grabbed mine
I stood there I said I was fine
He made me lay in the bed
Said that we wouldn’t leave till I cried
Told him it was not a big deal my grandpa just died…
Held me in his arms and kissed me on the head
Told me that he knew that if I didn’t release
My anguish would becoming my ending
I said I don’t care if this ends
His look was full of sympathy and hate
Told me if I didn’t care then what were we? ....
I know this was what was right
And I knew I needed to cry
I could feel my heart and it was dry
I couldn’t feel my soul it was lost
I could feel my thoughts and they were a float
I could see him trying to figure out
I could see him wanting to help me
I could see him and he wanted me to be free
I could hear those words repeat
I could hear those times when it was worse
I could hear those times when I had not a care and I laughed
I could see all these moments become my past
A new life laid a head
A new life where I had to be strong
A new life where a lot would go wrong
A new life where each day I would miss him
A new life where nothing would ever make my loss go away
And this is how I had my end
A tearless night with the pain making me heave dry cries out into the night and morning broke and I was finally heartless…

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