Deep Down, I'M Not.
It's sunny -
yet the clouds are dark and black.
if everyone is soo happy, and bright,
why then, do i feel like crap?
i just want to run away,
to hide, and to shut out,
their piercing, accusing sight.
I know i acted recklessly,
and i put myself in this position.
But when i asked for your help
your rebuff, it really hurt.
now we are both angry,
and to each other, we will not listen.
But i have something to tell,
i loathe feeling like absolute hell.
i'm drowning under this steadily-rising tide
of yours - and my own-
and everyone's criticizing negativity.
It is all adding, to this unhelpful spell
that i fing myself buried under.
standing on the edge of a steep cliff,
Down far did i fall?
i do not know,
i was pushed by the yelling, scary claps,
of echoing thunder.
Trapped! At the bottom
of a muddy, storm-filled hole.
Yet, instead of trying to dig myself out,
i'm just diging in, deeper, and deeper.
trying to hide from truth's blinding light
- like a mole.
all of my joy - like a thief
All of this has got to STOP!
pretending things, and i am fine...
..when deep down, i'm not.