Did You Ever?

I do not even know whether-
You will ever read this letter.
I am getting married, again.

While started writing,
I thought I will be lavish
While writing, I realized, I am too poor-
And words cost me a life time

I wonder how you are.
I wonder whether you,
Still cough during early mornings.
The girl I am getting married-
Liked to be called as a star
I agree with her,
I am not left with much to give her
So why not a name she likes?
Smiles

I just want to know…
Did you ever love me?
Even for a minute?
Smiles
I read you telling your best friend
“It was an illusion”
I worry about your nail marks on my shoulder
And my arms
They are so visible-I might be asked a reason
I am so afraid,
Afraid of letting stars falling into an ocean of tears

Will you write me back?
It is so many days ever since you left me
It is so many months ever since you left me
It is so many sighs…
Still the tears taste salty

Are you happy?
Did you find your love?
Are you always smiling?
Which you didn’t with me?
Does he love you?
As much you longed for?
Does he paint you?
As perfect as I always did?
Does he make small sounds, like me?
For which you cherished me-
The sweetness of your lips?
Do his eyes sparkle like mine?
Does he tease you imitating your laugher?
Does he shiver under the warmth of your body?

Did you ever love me?
Even for a moment?
Did you?

by Raj Thampi

Comments (1)

Dear Adam I am so glad to read your comments about my poems. For me each poem is few minutes suffocation, suffering, submission to emotions which are nameless & finally the feeling of loss. I have the limitations of vocabulary and I hope I will catch with it & I shall express myself more visible :) thank you again.