JTG (June 26,1990 / Lowell, Ma)

Distance Myself

Every time I try or even care about someone
Something happens that kills my love
Every time I try to get close
Something stops my wanting to go

Every time I try to help out
It only ends in screams and shouts
As much as I care it never matters
Its their very loved ones that always shatter

The smile that I wear on my face
The very smile they always seem to erase
I feel like I need to distance myself
From anyone that I want to help

Sometimes I wish I could just run far away
Somewhere that I would not have to deal with the days
I wish that it was that easy to do
I wish that someone else could see through my views

If you have not a clue
Sit back and listen ill show you
You know that feeling you get deep down inside
When someone leaves your life by surprise

Well picture that feeling that you get
Add the thought that your the reason they are upset
The catch is you did nothing wrong
You feel the hurt as if it was you all along

All you did was try to care
All you did was try to share
Share your heart with someone else
Their loved ones didn't like it so you fell

Guilt running throughout your mind
Wishing you could make it better instead of leaving it behind
Knowing that the only thing that you can do
Is to put distance between you two

Still feeling the same love for this person
Loving them no matter if your life worsens
Just hopeing and praying the best happens to her
Life was clear, now a mental blurr

Never knowing what it could of been
The darker side wins again
I guess the only thing to do
Is to distance myself from anything that moves

To a place alone where theres noone i can hurt
No family, No friends, just me and work
Working my life away day after day
Never being able to tell her and say

I miss the way that she smilied at me
I miss the way that things used to be
I miss feeling of her arms hugging me tight
I miss talking to her every night

I wish I didnt give up on her
I just didnt want things to get worse for her
Well with all that said, if you want shoot me dead
Forever holding her memories in the back of my head

by Joshua Thomas Gage

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