KJP ( / )

Do You Think Of Me?

Do you think about me?
Your blood is bleeding all over the floor,
I don't want you to want me because I want you to.
I want you
to open the door
Sometimes I look out the window to see what you're doing but I'm scared to go outside
the fresh air makes my cuts sting and I'm more comfortable suffocating and partially because of my pride and partially bc I feel undignified
Im always told I have daddy issues
I argue that I don't as I write your name on the tissues
I stuff them in my heart because they tell me I have a void and I want to fill it with you
Daddy
But the thin paper doesn't stop the bleeding and my thin skin doesn't resist the blade
see its your blood daddy
Blood and tears sink as I draw my bath to calm my heart rate
My heart beats fast for being so broken
demons pull me down by my throat leaving hickeys on my neck
I learned the value of the dollar but school couldn't teach me how to love myself
When he tells me he loves me I move to a new state of emotions and I tell him I can't do long distance
im scared to open up
you told me you love me but I haven't heard from you in two years
I wonder why
since I moved it hadn't stopped raining
there are always clouds
I'm always confused
I won't let him love me
but I'm okay with being used
wish I never met you when I was 10
I can pinpoint right there
Where it all seemed to begin
I thought you were dead
and I never wondered if you thought about me

by Kiara Jade Patton

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