I could never love like that again.
Not with that kind of investment given.
Not with an openness of a heart I had.
Not when I was too ready...
To share all of myself
And that which I had!

I could never love like that again.
Waking up to sing before dawn.
Hearing bad news,
That solicits my heart to sing
Happy songs!
Not caring to carry a guiltness,
To decide if right or wrong!
And then all day long,
Just thinking in a reminisced fit...
About kissing!
Or sharing a bliss lifted,
To the eternal confines of the universe!

Not to say I could have been,
Perhaps more diversed...
To set free in passion.
Instead of living in a mind,
Too hesitant!
And reluctantly too over the top,
With emotions over-rehearsed!
And sometimes shallow.

I could never love like that again!
If I did...
I would have to kill someone.
Become totally undone,
In anyone came to put a scratch,
Or a dent...
Upon my sparkling heart,
That has been completely healed...
And remodeled.
Not to show
The slightest hint of pain!

I could never love like 'that' again.
I could see myself in a renewal of old attitudes.
I am comfortable in my 'new place' now...
And that elates me.
I could,
Begin giving tours.
To point out all that has been done!
And only 'if' that 'someone',
Was quick to identify...
How much of a renovation has been made,
To remove every conflict from appearing
On the surface!
Only then...
Would I consider,
Contemplating having 'testing' affairs.
To a narrowed selective few.
In an opened house...
Has been opened for closer inspections!
And to accomodate any chemistry,
That might arrive...
To entice and stimulate,
The arising of an enhanced view!

by Lawrence S. Pertillar

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